This one goes out to all you brave souls who decided to be camp counselors this summer and who will be dealing with children in an a humid and sweaty outdoors setting instead of relaxing on the beach and sipping iced and fruity alcoholic beverages. To make your life more fun and exciting this summer I've devised a list of horrendous puns for you to bring up on all of your hiking adventures.
May you receive lots of groans, deadpan stares, and hidden smiles upon using them. I've also thrown in some fun facts associated with each pun so you can use them as a segue into teaching!
1. Why did the fungi leave the party?
There wasn't Mushroom.
Fungi are decomposers and help recycle soil so without them we'd quickly, and literally, run out of Earth to live on.
2. Did you hear about the fight between the black bears and the group of owls?
It was an owl-out war but they won against owl odds.
This joke works well if you really sell the fighting and make it seem like a real battle happened before delivering the pun. Also, while owls are mostly solitary creatures, a group of them is called a parliament.
3. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
By seeing if they see you later or after awhile.
The real difference is that alligators have a wide, u-shape like snout and an overbite while crocodiles have a more v-shaped, long and skinny snout.
4. How do you know what a lichen is?
Because they take a likin' to a tree
Birds use lichen to help camouflage their nests and are an indicator of good air quality.
5. How do you throw a solar system party?
Jupiter has the most moons in our solar system with up to currently 63 accounted for.
6. Why was the hollow log sad?
Because he felt empty on the inside.
Pine trees are one of the most abundant species on the planet and can be found on every continent except Antarctica.
7. How do you measure a snake?
In inches, they don't have any feet.
Snakes also do not have eyelids or external ear opening.
8. What didn't the bunny go to the ball?
He was having a bad hare day.
Female and male rabbits are called does and bucks, just like deer.
9. What's the highest form of flattery?
The highest and biggest form of flattery is the Tibetan Plateau in Asia and is a part of the same mountain range that Mount Everest is in, The Himalayan.
10. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
Seagulls can actually be found just about anywhere and tend to like any kind of water-y environment but this fact makes this joke less fun.
11. How did the succulent introduce his friends to another succulent?
Say "Aloe" to my little friend
There are rumors that Cleopatra herself used Aloe Vera in her daily beauty regimen.
12. Why was the plant late to the party?
He mint to be there early, but lost track of Thyme.
An herb is considered an herb when it comes from the leafy parts of the plant while a spice tends to come from any part of the plant that isn't the leafy part (seeds, roots, flower, stem, etc.).