Dear Little Sister:

When Mom and Dad told me that you were on the way, I felt so many emotions. Although I was only four at the time, I can remember the exact words that Dad said to me while I was sitting on the couch, watching The Wizard of Oz. “Dana,” he said, “your mother has a baby in her belly. You’re going to be a big sister.” Out of pure joy, I ran into the bedroom and jumped on her. I rubbed her belly and talked to you, I cried. I couldn’t believe it.

The pregnancy was a hard one, not just on you and Mom, but also on me. You had decided that you wanted to make your appearance early, that nine months was too long to wait. Because of this, you and Mom spent 6 months in the hospital. You took my Mommy away from me. I hated you before you were even born. She missed so many things, and I missed her. I had gone from being the center of attention to having to share my mother with a hospital bed, and I hated you for that.

Finally, you arrived, a bit earlier than expected, but you made it, despite all the complications. On June 25^th, 2000, I became a big sister. I became the eldest of two. Life as I had known it was over and a new life, that I am forever grateful for, began.

I hated you when we were younger, I loathed you. You were so cute and innocent, so compliant. You were the youngest, you were new, you were everything that I no longer was, and I envied that. I wanted to be you, I wanted to be the younger sister. It wasn’t until we got older that I realized the value of what I had, what we had.

You don’t remember life when Mom and Dad were together, I barely remember. You only remember our complicated visitation schedule, the difference between Mom’s parenting and Dad’s. But I was there for you, to guard you against the differences and change that we faced. I was there to protect you.

As we grew up, we faced the world together, we faced change, hardships, difficulties, happiness. We laughed, we cried, we yelled, we screamed. We broke each other down, we picked each other up. We watched and helped each other grow into beautiful young women.

Along the way, there were some things I never got to tell you, some things that I never said. You are so beautiful, inside and out. You’re so beautiful you could be a model and put the world to shame. You have an amazing personality. You can laugh, you can be funny, you can make jokes, yet you don’t take sh*t. Your love for animals is so innocent and pure. Watching you love your cats, your dogs, your goats, makes me smile. It is just so wonderful to see someone with so much love, enjoy life.

I am so proud of you. I am so proud of who you have become and where you are going in life. I know there are times when we fight, and we fight dirty, but know that I don’t mean any of the things that I have said. I love you more than anything in this world. The greatest gift of my life and the greatest responsibility that I have ever been blessed with is being your big sister. Thank you, for the opportunity of a lifetime, for being my ride or die, and for teaching me what its like to love.

I love you, so much.