To preface, I need to introduce her. She's my age. She has long, light brown hair like me. She's a hell of an athlete. When she was little she fell off a piano bench and knocked out one of her baby teeth, making the one that grew in a little crooked. When she smiles, her eyes crinkle a lot at the edges and if she's happy, sometimes her grin will get so big that you can barely see her eyes. She doesn't like casual contact like when somebody puts a hand on her back or shoulder to try and comfort her when she's tense. She loves when people play with her hair though. She is very tidy. When she has a house of her own she will probably ask everybody who walks in to take off their shoes because she likes when the floor is clean. She has a preposterously huge weakness for peanut butter filled pretzels, but only a certain brand that she discovered in the dining hall of her school. She is a massive hippie and goes out of her way to recycle her soda bottles and cans.

There's another thing that you should know about her: She is my best friend.

I read the other day that women who eat dairy are a lot more likely to have twins because of the cow hormones. Thank God that my mom wasn't lactose intolerant, because my life now would be pretty incomplete if I didn't have my sister. Its kind of a difficult arrangement at this point in my life because she goes to a school a thousand miles away. I call her and grouse about my day and she makes me laugh with her dopey and slightly inappropriate sense of humor (that may or may not be exactly like mine). Like anyone with a long distance bestie knows, when I have bad days I just want a hug from her, which is an absolutely useless want because she is really far away. Calling her can be the highlight of my day.

It definitely wasn't always this way though. For all of the people sighing and wishing that they two miraculously split into two people in the womb, the rainbows and kittens are something that you have to work for. When you are growing up, having a twin sucks. Both of you ride the whole adolescent roller coaster at the same time. You are dressed very similarly until you reach an age when you finally realize that the very last thing that you want is to look any more similar to your twin. You compare yourselves, having grown up with the constant question "how can I tell you two apart?" From the first time an older kid told me that my face was fatter than hers when I was in Sunday school, I realized that I really did not want the differences that people perceived between us and associated me with to be bad.

So I tried really hard to be "better". I felt a lot of jealousy when she would get good grades and when in sporting events she would do well, because in my mind, no matter how well I did, if she had more success, I was a failure. And by god was she successful. In sixth grade she was second in the state at the 50 yard backstroke. I was third in the 50 yard butterfly. In seventh grade she was the all-around champion in level four gymnastics. I squeaked onto the podium in third place. In high school she was a little track star and I ran the laps that coach put me into huffing and puffing. Blah blah blah the list goes on and on. In all of the arenas that I pitted myself against my sister, I came up short. It made me feel really inadequate for a really long time. Finally, a couple years ago, I found the very simple solution to all of my problems: Find different things to do.

Most twins eventually come around to this same conclusion at some point in their lives. Whether its the "conscious uncoupling" that I had with my sister or is just a natural series of decisions, you don't see many twins walking around in matching outfits (unless they want to weird people out). They want people to see them as different people and not a single unit. So they may have different friend groups. They may play different instruments. They may take different classes. They may go to different schools. They may choose different careers. But friends, let me let you in on a secret. Twins, no matter how different they seem are always going to be a unit. No one understands either of them as well as they understand each other.

So my twin sister is my best friend. We've gotten through a lot of issues, a lot of fighting, and a lot of life together. Twins are great at relationships because their entire lives they've been a part of a partnership. They have practical experience with what it means to give and take. Although, I should put it out there that any significant other that either twin brings home will endure the scrutiny of their sibling. If you can't hang with both, don't try for one.

So the rivalry and the "which one are you?"s and the "who is better at what?"s and the jealousy and petty crap that I had to handle growing up has made me a better and more patient person. It's also given me a really unique sense of self confidence. The patience and self confidence and pretty much any of the other positive traits that I've developed are things that I've recognized recently are all because of my sister.

If I wasn't a twin, I'd definitely be super jealous of people who do. In fact, every once in a while I wonder about what it would be like to be a triplet. But just like anything in life, it definitely has its downs as well as its ups. In the end though, we are two sides of the same coin. We are symbiotic. So when I look in the mirror and see the light brown hair, the slightly less crinkly smile, the rounder face, and the extra pounds, I it reminds me of how much I miss her. How I wish now that I could be more like her-- my scary smart and super-talented twin. It pushes me to be a better person, who volunteers and who holds my tongue when I have something mean to say. Although you know that when I am done holding those mean thoughts in I'm going to get her on the phone to rant.

So here's to all of the twins out there! It's not always an easy gig, but we wouldn't trade it for the world.