Everything happens for a reason -- plain and simple.
The night the boy that could make you smile just by speaking your name tells you you mean nothing to him is to teach you to love yourself first. The chance you did not take to say your final goodbye to the person you cherished most in this world was to teach you to appreciate every second you get in this lifetime. Seeing your mother go from the lowest point of her life to influencing thousands of women going through those same trials teaches you that there is a plan for each of us. Your best friend needing to move away to find happiness again was teaches you to listen to what your soul needs, just as she had. Good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
Beauty is skin deep.
“Educate yourself. The mind feeds the soul.” The best advice I have ever received. I have seen so many relationships built on the foundation of sexual attraction, money, status, etc. and fail after the lust runs out. I couldn’t imagine only connecting with someone on a physical level. There is so much magic behind those pillow talks at 3 a.m. when it hurts to keep yours eyes open but you can't imagine falling asleep. There is so much comfort in knowing that this person you are choosing to share so much of yourself with wants the best for you. There is so much worth behind loving someone wholeheartedly and having that love be reciprocated to you.
There is value in hard work.
If one thing is for certain it is that I am so lucky to be brought up having to work for what I wanted. There are so many people in this life that will never understand the character that achievement builds. There is so much satisfaction in putting in a hard day’s work and earning a paycheck for your diligence. There is satisfaction in purchasing your first car, knowing you earned it. There is a sense of pride that comes with getting into a school no one thought was possible for you. So be grateful your parents made you get a job in high school, or pay for your own gas. Be grateful when you have to stay in for the weekend in order to write an extensive paper. Be grateful for having to spend days in the library challenging your mind in order to prepare for finals. All this will add to your character, your abilities and most importantly your motivation. Just how a sport team ignites after scoring that first goal, so will you once you start achieving your goals.
Comparison is the thief of happiness.
Goodness, if I could go back and tell that bright-eyed, big-smiled 15-year-old me anything, it would be that comparison would soon burn her light out. There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, faster and thinner than you. Don’t try to be them; be you.
Instinct speaks volumes.
Trust first impressions. Trust that voice in the back of your mind telling you this boy is not worth it. Trust that uneasy feeling you get telling you that what your about to do will not go your way. Trust your instincts, because in my opinion it is the only time you are being 100 percent honest with yourself.
Time heals.
It all changes and it all heals. My best friend lives by the mantra, “Will it really matter in a month?” And to be honest I wish I took that more seriously back in high school. The amount of happiness that was stripped from me from overthinking, assuming the worst and convincing myself that something small was the end-all-be-all is almost pathetic. And she was right -- as I face new problems and new worries in my life, I take the time to laugh at how worked up I made myself over the old ones that now have no relevance in my life
10 things I know for certain
- Nothing works unless you do. Nothing in this life is handed to you on a silver platter. Keep going, keep trying, keep working: you will thank yourself later.
- Travel; my goodness, travel. The thought of living on this beautiful, culturally-enriched planet and not seeing what it has to offer should terrify you the same way it terrified me. Traveling put my life in perspective. Take risks, see the world, find yourself.
- People can change you – both negatively and positively. You need to be able to recognize and come to terms with that, because at the end of the day it’s all about loving the reflection you see in the mirror.
- There is truly no place like home, as cheesy as that sounds. Home can be a safe haven or what made you who you are today. Remember that and live your life accordingly.
- Be present. Do you really want to tell your kids about all those times you went out with your friends and everyone was a slave to their cell phones? Be mindful with that and recognize that our time on this earth is temporary.
- Everyone is fighting a battle, everyone has a past, everyone has their demons. Do not judge -- you do not know what storm they’ve had to walk through.
- People come into your life for a reason, whether that is a good or bad thing. It is up to you to utilize and understand that to the best of your abilities.
- There are two types of forgiveness: the kind where you grant another chance, and the kind where you move on without them. Use them both wisely, according to what is best for you at that time in your life.
- Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t. Don’t be afraid to ask questions; always be observant; learn from strangers. In the end, all these interactions help mold you into the person you will become.
- Never settle or change yourself. The moment you feel like you have to prove your self-worth to someone is the moment to utterly walk away.
Five things my family taught me
- How to have thick skin. I can thank my brothers for this one. I remember in grade school when I thought they were the spawns of Satan and that being the baby in a family ruled by boys was the end of the world. Now I could not imagine life any other way. They are a key factor in who I am today. They taught me to be my own person and not let the little things get to me. I am so grateful to have those boys, my boys, in my life.
- We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not by the worst that has been done to us. My parents really reiterated this one to me recently; with my brothers and I reaching ages where life is throwing problems at us that could make or break us, my parents have done an excellent job of bringing us back to our centers and reminding us that there are certain situations in life that you cannot control. What you can control is how you react to those problems, and that is what dictates the kind of person you are.
- Everything happens for a reason. My beautiful mother taught this one to me. Her cancer really showed me that life has a plan for each of us. I am fully convinced that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer to create Unite for HER and touch the lives of many individuals and their families who are going through that same burden as she did in 2004. I now live my life knowing that everything that comes my way is for a reason.
- It is OK to be different. My family consists of such an array of personalities that are each successful, lovable and authentic. From a history buff to a wellness enthusiast to a driven chef to a poetic athlete to a tattooed dreamer -- each member of my family is so unique, and yet together we create a dynamic that meshes so beautifully and harmoniously.
- Never compromise yourself. Something that has been said to me for as long as I can remember and is now a mantra I live my life by. Don’t try to be who you aren’t, don’t pretend to believe something you don’t, don’t go with a majority that you don’t wholeheartedly support. People who are worth your time will love you for you, plain and simple.
Things I Like
Rainy days in summer/autumn.
Stove-top popcorn with truffle salt.
Summer nights by the fire pit.
Reading on the beach after 4 p.m.
Walking barefoot on wooden floors.
Sitting on the grass in the summertime.
Kissing the top of puppies' heads.
Being snowed-in with a nice fire and a good book.
Cloudy days on the beach.
Thunderstorms in July/August.
Cuddling with my mother.
Journaling in coffee shops.
The sound of strumming against a guitar.
The smell of the pavement after a rainstorm.
Baggy sweatshirts.
Tight hugs and forehead kisses.
Driving with the windows down.
Seeing my friends after a long time apart.
