For most of my teenage years, I prioritized my friends. They were the ones who I would fall back on if I had a problem -- the ones who I would ask to give me all the "right" advice. Of course, that's what any teenage girl thinks: Your best friends are your everything.
There is a quote by Iyanla Vanzant that says, "One of the most important relationships we have is the relationship we have with our mothers." Being 20, I've come to realize how accurate this is. I have grown to become the mini-version of my mother. Our relationship has changed immensely through the years, and I wouldn't change a thing.
I went through many stages of my relationship with my mother. At birth, I needed her to care for me at every need. When I was a little kid, she was the one who I ran to for safety -- I knew she would protect me. As I began to grow and experience life on my own, things changed. I was learning different things about the world, gaining friends, and taking on the drama that came along gradually. Through middle school, Mom was the one I would ask permission to go out with my friends. That's all I wanted to do. Be out of the house, away, not thinking about leaving my mother behind. I'll call these the selfish years. This carried on through high school. Mom's just the one who bought my clothes, gave me rules, gave me instructions, set time limits -- you name it.
Our relationship was steadily decreasing. I was moody, wanting to experience life my own way. My mother, on the other hand, tried to guide me in a better direction -- of course, that being opposite from the direction that I was leaning towards. We clashed. We fought. I challenged her every tidbit of advice and way of guidance. I didn't want to be ruled over anymore; I wanted to make my own decisions, because I was grown -- right?
I don't regret it. In fact, I would do it all the same way. My mother is the most important woman in my life, and it took me until now to realize it. She has been my friend through it all. No matter how many times I pushed her away, which was a lot, she stood strong. She never let me go. My best friends came and went, but my mother was always there. The sad thing is, I didn't notice.
I didn't think that leaving for college would make it so hard to leave her side. I didn't think her phone calls once in a while would turn my day around -- that the sound of her voice from miles away could bring me back home. I never would've thought I would turn to my mother for comfort and healing, because being a teenager, I thought I could handle life on my own. Well, the thing is, I can't. I need you, Mom. You're my backbone. You keep me strong. You remind me who I am, and that life will challenge me but you will be there to help me through it. You've never judged me. You've held my heart with your caring hands, and helped tape up the pieces when they were shattered. No one else can do that. No one else can make me feel as loved as you do.
I thank you for this. Thank you for helping me through my toughest of times. I always knew you were there, but I took you for granted. You are my best friend. I love our laughs, I love our walks, and I love our bond. I know you will never hurt me, never leave me, and that you will always protect me. You are very important to me, and our relationship will keep growing stronger. I love you.
