Sometimes adulting is hard, you know? (College students can I get an AMEN!?) Therefore, by extension, and theretofore, it can be hard to think of things to write about. Faced with this daunting task, sitting up past three in the morning, I think to myself; “Hey, I’m a person, and I think things… At least I think so…”
And so, with the face of this dreadful deadline staring me in the face and with the weight of the ENTIRE WORLD (emphasis added) resting on my shoulders, I have an epiphany- I’ll write a stream of consciousness!
For those of you who don't know, where essays and regular articles have a sound structure, a set of points, and a definite point, a stream of consciousness is the exact opposite. Instead of the things I listed above, a stream of consciousness follows a person's train of thought and mimics the seemingly random twists and turns by writing down anything and everything that pops into the writer’s head.
While this may not be the most profound and culturally relevant piece I'll publish through Odyssey (or at all), I hope this unadulterated map of my thought processes provides a laugh and a little insight into the way my mind works.
Without further ado, let’s get started!
Do you know what “consciousness” sounds like? “Cod fish,” the cheapest fish at the grocery store… Oh wait, that’s tilapia. (For some reason, I often get the word “tilapia” confused with “tapioca.”) But what’s even weirder are codpieces. When I say these things are weird I mean they are really freaking weird, which really fits in with Renaissance fashion in general. The codpiece, began to emerge shortly before the end of the first half of the 1400’s. The popularity of these things (which closely resemble today’s jockstraps) let the wearer emphasize their... "Manhood," and lined up exactly with an outbreak of Syphilis in Europe during the mid-late 15th century. They were even detachable for quick trips to the bathroom! They never really caught on again in public fashion after their brief 15th century stint, men from around 1750 through 1832 started reviving the idea by wearing very tight fitting breeches in colors (such as white, tan, and beige) that emphasized the idea that they were not wearing anything at all. Today's skinny jeans closely resemble this general idea, but don't necessarily go to the extent that codpieces did.
Have you ever considered how odd art is? I mean, it’s just a bunch of colors and shapes slapped together, sometimes not even resembling anything. They’re just… There. The same thing goes with music, particularly with contemporary composers like Stravinsky and Rachmaninoff. As a musician myself, (and using VERY accurate terminology,) it sounds like they flopped their hands all over the piano keyboard and said to themselves; “Hey, this sounds like a thing. I’m going to make that a thing!” And while I appreciate their enthusiasm, I only have one thing to say to them- NOBODY LIKES YOU! BECAUSE… REASONS!!!
Trying to let my mind run wild, one of the common themes that pops into my mind is religion. However, when I try to let these thoughts develop, I think; “What do I want to say about religion?” and draw a blank. So, I think I’ll continue to let my mind run wild and try to think of something else.
1812 was a messed up year. First, there is the fact that it was so cold in Virginia that it was snowing in July. Second is the War of 1812, which our young country was not ready for by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ll come back to that later. Third was the Napoleonic Wars, in particular Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte’s attempted invasion of Russia during the winter of 1812, something the Germans should have kept in mind roughly 131 years later.
Now, back to the war of 1812. The main justification for the war was British impressment, or capturing American sailors and forcing them to serve on British vessels. Second is the matter of trade with the new country, especially evident in Britain’s Orders in Council (which required American ships to dock in Britain and pay taxes before they could trade with the rest of Europe) and Thomas Jefferson’s disastrous Embargo Act of 1807 (which placed an embargo on all American exports. It was intended to make well established countries like Britain and France respect American products and the country in general, but it wreaked havoc on the economy and was repealed by Congress in 1809.) Third is the actions of President James Madison’s predecessor, Thomas Jefferson. The actions of his administration really laid the groundwork for the disaster that was the War of 1812. As I mentioned before, actions such as the Embargo Act severely gripped the U.S. economy. As Commander in Chief, Jefferson slashed the sizes of the army and navy in an attempt to somewhat salvage the economy. According to History News Network’s “Thomas Jefferson’s Radical Plan to Avert the Fiscal Cliff,” Jefferson cut the Navy by $1 million, getting rid of 195 Naval officers, scrapping plans for new ships, and put those in existence in dry dock. As for the army, he decreased the standing army by a third, doing away with 87 officers, and cutting the army’s budget by half.
I could really keep doing this, but it is nearly five in the morning and things are going to get even more strange than they already are. I hope you enjoyed my stream of consciousness, or at least got a little look into the way my mind works!
