I will never forget the shock bordering on disgust when I told someone that, despite being invited back to every party during formal recruitment, I chose my sorority. Their immediate response was, “Ew. Why?” I have to admit I was so shocked by their reaction that I couldn’t answer them right away. I felt like I’d simultaneously been punched in the stomach, and told that Santa Claus wasn’t real. It was a horrible realization, and I spent the entirety of that awkward 30-second silence trying to explain why I’d made a decision that seemed so obvious to me. I was still a fairly new member, and this was the first time I’d encountered any outright negativity towards my sorority.

My response was, quite frankly, lame as hell. “I just felt at home, and knew it was where I belonged.” I’m not saying it wasn’t true, but damn if it wasn’t cliche as hell. What I should have said was that I chose my sorority, because there was no other choice for me. I knew going into recruitment that I wanted to be a part of my sorority, and that I already held the symbols of my sorority close to my heart. I’d met future sisters on campus, and, without knowing that they were members of my future sorority, I thought they were cooler than cool. I cried over our philanthropy one night of formal recruitment, and meet my future best friend the next. I’ve honestly shared the best three years of my life with these women. They’re everything I wanted in a sorority, and more. They have held my hair back when I drank too much, told me I’m fabulous/gorgeous/perfect when I walk by them on campus, have held me when my panic attacks make a nasty appearance, and encouraged me in all of my endeavors.

I’ve been a member of my sorority for over three years now, and I’ve heard quite a few negative comments during that time. Some people hate my sorority. That’s right, hate it. Plenty of girls do not choose to return to our parties during formal recruitment, but many, many other women do. As a whole, greek women do not admit that their sisterhoods are imperfect. Signs of “weakness” are discouraged, but why? We call formal recruitment a mutual selection process. That term implicitly shows that sisterhood is not a one size fits all idea. There are plenty of women who I will never call my sisters, but that doesn’t make the sisterhood they have less valuable. The only way we cheapen our sororities is when we place ours on a pedestal to look down on everybody else's. When we

really look at the values of CPC sororities, we all believe and work towards the same values and ideals. What makes differentiates us is the relationships we build with our fellow members. We wouldn’t dare say that someone’s best friend isn’t as good as another girl’s best friend.

Why do we do this with sisterhoods? The very idea that tiers exist is anti-feminsitic by nature. We’re pitting other women against each other when we believe that our sororities are a competition. It’s, quite frankly, a very crappy way to find sisterhood. When we turn every part of greek life into a competition. When we rank sororities from best to worse we are literally saying that some girls have an inherent value that is higher than another group of girls. I love my sorority. I genuinely believe that being a member is one of the highest honors I will ever receive, but I will not defile the sanctity of sisterhood by saying that mine’s better than another woman’s. It doesn’t matter what your colors are, how fun your events are, or even how high your chapter GPA is, there will always be potential new members who do not want to be a part of your sorority, because there are multiple sororities for a reason. It’s because it’s true that you can’t please everyone. My sorority is not for everyone. There are people who have no desire to be my sister, but that doesn’t mean the sisterhood they choose is better than my own or vice versa. It’s true when they say, “No matter the letter. We’re all greek together.”