I've always heard people claim that one moment could change your life completely. However, I always seemed to disregard this thought, until I experienced it first hand. I have always had back pain; sometimes so extensive the only way to mildly subside it would be to lay on my bathroom floor for hours. But, whenever I would bring my pain up to someone, it was always disregarded with the same response, "everyone has back pain. Take some Advil."

During the summer of 2015, I went to my pediatrician to get a physical that was required to attend Young Life camp. As soon as the doctor came in, I noticed her staring at my posture. The lady then asked me to touch my toes, as she wanted to look at my spine. Sure enough, there was a curve. However, an x-ray revealed just how serious the curve was. I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis and told my only option was to undergo a lumbar spinal fusion surgery, during my junior year of high school. My surgery would consist of metal rods being weaved through holes drilled in my spine, along with a bone graph. Besides feeling incredibly anxious about the news I had just received, I also felt incredibly flawed and angry. I was sixteen years old and finished growing. How could a condition so severe go unnoticed for so long? I had even been checked for scoliosis in the past, and was just now being told I needed an intense surgery if I wanted a chance to be pain-free. The whole situation seemed very unfair.

After many discussions, consultations, x-rays, and MRIs, my surgery date was finally set for April 14, 2016. The months past by quickly, and I began physical therapy to strengthen my body so it would be stronger going into surgery, and hopefully help for a quicker recovery. Eventually, the day of my surgery came around, and my family and I made our way to the hospital. All I remember from pre-op is a nurse asking me if my feet felt as though they were floating as she put an IV in both arms. Due to a complication during my operation I ended up spending my seventeenth birthday in the ICU, and several more days in the hospital. The majority of my hospital experience was a blur, but the real challenge was the transition home. After my body sitting and functioning a certain way for sixteen years, completely shifting my spine and muscles meant relearning how to do everything. I felt very hopeless; if standing hurt badly enough to make me sob, I couldn't imagine how painful it'd be to relearn to walk or run. The limitations that came with recovery, such as not being able to do practically anything on my own, made completing any simple task difficult. I'm lucky enough to have an incredibly supportive family who went out of their way to help me in anyway they could. Honestly, I couldn't have done it without them.

Besides the obvious physical difficulties, the mental stress of trying to finish junior year strong made matters worse. Despite my efforts to adequately prepare for homeschool, I was still drowning in makeup work. Majority of my teachers expected me to complete months of work in weeks, and take finals. In addition to my large work load, I also had to finish everything while still bedridden and unable to sit up to complete them. To make matters even worse, my home school teacher wouldn't actually teach me the material I was missing in class, but instead provided textbooks and expected me to teach myself. Now if the subjects were something you could easily learn from a book, such as anatomy, this wouldn't have been a problem, but you simply can not learn physics or algebra 2 from only a textbook. On the bright side, I decided not to let these bumps in my path defeat me, and actually ended up completing everything and finals. This was a good positive that resulted from surgery because I learned I really could do anything I put my mind to, even if the odds weren't in my favor.

Another mental stress that I had to overcome was my body image. Although I don't remember, I was told I was so disgusted with how I looked in the hospital after surgery, that I asked for another one. I asked for another intense and painful surgery, because I felt so flawed and imperfect. Before surgery, you could see my curve and a small deformity that resulted from it on my back. After surgery, my body was very swollen and a bit taller, but still to this day seems like it still has noticeable flaws that others without scoliosis do not have. This was a very hard thing to become okay with seeing in the mirror everyday, and I still struggle with feeling comfortable in my own skin today. However, I try my best to remember that we're all made in God's image and therefore we are perfect, and the flaws I pick out and assess about my body do not define my beauty or me as a person.

Shortly after finishing junior year, I began physical therapy. I have been in physical therapy before as a result of a knee injury, but therapy for the spine tends to be more intense. The first day I met my therapist I could barely sit in a chair for five minutes without extreme pain, and still wasn't walking much. The doctor told me this was actually a problem and that I needed to practice sitting, start a walking program, and stay out of bed as much as possible. I followed these orders, despite the pain, and slowly began to see simple things, such as walking to the kitchen, become easier. After a couple months of therapy I began doing more physically demanding exercises such as planks. I never thought I'd be able to do harder exercises when I first began therapy, and it proved to me that I really could have my life back after about a year of recovery, minus any super demanding activities.

I finished my therapy back in July, and was actually lucky enough to attend another Young Life camp that summer. It's interesting to think that if I didn't go to get a physical to attend camp the summer before, there's a good chance my curve would've remained unnoticed. This just goes to show that despite our wishes to take control of our lives and plan everything out, God's plan will still prevail, and we can succeed with Him by our side.