When I was eleven years old, my entire childhood was drastically changed forever. Why? Because of you.

In one night I went from a carefree, spirited young girl to a frightened, timid young girl all because you thought it would be fun to use me as your own form of enjoyment. For whatever reason, something in your head told you that it was a good idea to go into that room and to use me for fun. Do you remember that night? Probably not. But I do, and that night has haunted me ever since.

When I was eleven years old, I learned not to trust anyone. Why? Because of you.

After that night...I shut down. I didn't trust anyone enough to tell them about what happened and I most certainly didn't trust anyone enough to be alone with them. I was an eleven-year-old girl who should have been excited to go have sleepovers but instead, I was an eleven-year-old girl who was sometimes too afraid to be alone with her own family members.

When I was eleven years old, I learned what it was like to give a police report. Why? Because of you.

I never imagined that at such a young age I would have a file at a police station. And sure, I didn't have it because I did anything wrong. I had it because you did something extremely wrong and this was the only way to deal with it. Do you know how terrifying it is to speak with investigators and police officers at such a young age? Do you care that I had to go through that? Probably not, that's why you did what you did. But I care that I had to go through that, and it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy… not even you.

When I was eleven years old, I learned how to testify in front of a grand jury. Why? Because of you.

Walking into that room was the scariest day of my life. Even scarier than the night you started all of this. How does a young girl like me sit in front of a group of strangers and tell them in immense detail what to happened to me? What you did to me. I was talking about things that many people my age were only just learning about, and I was talking about them like it was no big deal. I had to do this because it was the only way to receive any justice for what I went through! So I did it. I told them everything that you did to me, and as I did, all I could hope for was justice.

When I was eleven years old, I learned that the justice system isn't always fair. Why? Because you of.

I remember this day more clearly than anything. I remember sitting down with my mom in her room and she looked at me and she said, “Your case is closed. There was substantial evidence, but not enough to convict.” And just like that, with those few words, my entire world came crashing down. Just like that, my file at the police station would be closed up and put in a file cabinet never to be looked at again. I was a young girl who learned that not all bad people get punished for what they do. So as I sat in my house and cried myself to sleep that night, you got to walk away clean like nothing ever happened.

When I was eleven years old, you took my childhood from me. Why? Because you could.

But guess what? I'm not the same scared little girl I was back then.

I'm a fighter.

I'm a survivor.