This is my open letter to whoever wrote "50 Ways To Be The Perfect College Girlfriend" article and the ignorant men that think this is okay. Total Frat Move, it is a no from me. If this is what you look for in a girl, good luck waking up next to a regret the next morning. Someone please show frat guys the direction to a respectable woman, a one night stand is only going to get you in line for a walk-in clinic. Please, raise your standards for the sake of humanity. So, here's my very sarcastic list of what us gals want in you "frat" bros.

1. Don't be jerk when you are drunk. No one cares that you punched Chad because he took your girl to formal.

2. Don't be clingy.Behind all that testosterone and Vineyard Vines, there's a needy little boy who needs someone to tell him he's better than Chad.

3. Bottle up your feelings. Just because you have someone for a date function, doesn't mean you're dating, she's definitely there for the free alcohol.

4. Don't be a pledge. Because you are literally a minion, no thanks.

5. Give me free alcohol. Most important.

6. Have abs. I like a 6 pack, no kegs.

7. Don't call me at 2 am. Because really, I don't care.

8. Learn to control yourself. Birth control is so dehumanizing, I would pick my womanhood over safety any day.

9. Drink a fifth of whiskey by yourself. If you can't do this you don't deserve to be in a frat.

10. Be good in bed. If you can't even do this, at least refer back to #5.

Obviously, I am kidding. If girls thought this, men would take a second look at that "Total Frat Move" list. We don't judge you on body type, alcohol tolerance or the role you play, because we would be blacklisted. You have obviously been breathing the frat house moldy air too much if you support that list, please consider finding a real example of what your ideal girlfriend is.