We all want to find that one person we can stay up late at night and have deep conversations with, who we can be ourselves around, and who builds us up when we're feeling down. Shouldn't this be fairly obvious? Should I even be explaining this to you?
Apparently I have to, because articles like "Date Someone Who Treats You Like Shit" exist. And even worse? People are sharing it on Facebook. Is this what we have come to? We are sharing an article that literally promotes abusive relationships?
This article talks about how you should date somebody that treats you "terribly", "never texts you back", and "belittles you". Because apparently, you will ONLY know your worth and how well you should be treated when someone screws you over. This is incredibly toxic on so many levels.
Abusive relationships can take a toll on somebody's mental and physical state of being.
Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.
Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.
Yes, I understand this article is not referring to physical abuse. However, when you read the title, a physically abusive relationship would fall under that category of "treating someone like shit", so it's very important that I emphasize this. Plus, when you hear stories about people getting MURDERED by their partner, I need to further stress the recklessness of this article.
When somebody is in an unhealthy relationship and "gets their heartbroken and will be devastated by them", the after effects are very real. It doesn't matter whether the relationship involved physical abuse or not. The unhealthy relationship could consist of belittling somebody and making them feel unimportant. It can be them blowing you off and never being reliable. It can be them not giving you enough attention. These behaviors add up and can affect a person's mental state. It can make them not be able to trust a single person again.
This article goes more into detail about the long-term effects of emotional abuse.
Bad relationships are not to be taken lightly. You cannot say "it won't hurt anymore" because you cannot speak for everyone. When you give your all to somebody and you get your heart broken it can be a traumatizing experience. It could break someone. They might not be able to recover. I do not appreciate the author trying to brush this off and make it seem like it's not a big deal.
Furthermore, I find it problematic how the author feels that in order to know how to be treated, you must have been in a bad relationship. I have never had a boyfriend, and I know how not to be treated. I know the warning signs, and I know when to avoid them. Does this mean that I should willingly put myself through a bad relationship in order to gain a life lesson? You cannot pay me enough money to do that. It is incredibly troubling that this article condones the audience to willingly put themselves in harm's way. It sends a message to stick around when situations turn for the worse so that you'll gain experience. Let me make it clear that you do not have to be in a bad relationship to know what's okay and what isn't.
I support freedom of speech, and I think that if you have something that needs to be expressed, you shouldn't hold back. But when young teenagers read this article who are vulnerable, inexperienced, and may lack self esteem, it can be incredibly dangerous to teach this information to them. They may date somebody who they know to be horrible. They may think that they can't find true love unless they feel degraded, beaten down, and unimportant. They may not realize that it is so much better to be single than to be in a relationship with somebody who does not love them.
If you are reading this, don't intentionally put yourself in danger. If your partner is making you feel inferior, putting you down, or not making you a priority, leave. If your partner is being controlling, leave. If you partner has ever laid a hand on you, leave. Whatever you do, don't listen to this article, and do NOT date someone who treats you like shit.
