Promise rings are supposed to be a symbol of commitment. A promise to love someone always no matter what. In many cases, and mine specifically, it is the step before engagement. A promise that one day an engagement ring will take its place.
In recent times, promise rings have lacked the meaning they were originally projected to have. People just kind of hand them out as gifts without really taking into consideration the meaning or symbolism of the ring itself.
It has become a shiny thing for people to blow their money on and show to their friends. it's become an object women long for. An object men purchase just to quiet their women and hold onto them a little bit longer. Other people think putting a ring on their significant other is like some force field to keep predatory suitors away. Some people think they are silly and meaningless altogether.
Before Dylan and I decided on promise rings, we had a very long series of conversations. I wanted a promise ring desperately, but Dylan didn't take the concept behind the ring lightly. He wanted to make sure I understood that this was a step before engagement.
That this meant we were cementing the time we've spent together and laying a foundation for the time we will be spending and devoting to each other. We had to establish that to us this was a serious commitment and one we wouldn't take as a joke. That we were ready to commit to each other and that be sure of what could follow.
When Dylan gave me my ring, he told me that he wasn't taking this commitment lightly. That this would be the ring that stays on my ring finger until he could put an engagement ring there instead. He was promising me a future together, one that we would build side by side.
I, on the other hand, am horrible with words. So when I gave Dylan his ring, I got nervous and sweaty. My hands were shaking as if he was going to reject me. I told him that I loved him more than anything in the world. Then a few hours later, when I had calmed down and realized he was thrilled about the ring, I handed him a letter that I had rewritten a million times.
I expressed that he meant the world to me and I was going to make damn sure I promised him the world. In whatever capacity I could give it to him.
We, in our opinions, are much to young to get married, but we knew that we had found something great with each other. Something we weren't letting go of. A promise ring was the perfect way to express all of that.
Together we cemented what we were already sure was pretty set in stone. It was a semi permanent promise that I am his and he is mine. A promise that we will work our hardest so that the house and kids we talk about will be a reality one day. A promise that the love we share and the growth we've had will continue and become much greater in the years to come.
Sure, sometimes we joke and I tell Dylan he drives me up a wall. When I do he just flashes his promise ring in my face and grins and tells me I put a ring on it. I'm stuck. But Truthfully, I wouldn't want it any other way.
The promise ring was much more than just a shiny band to show my friends. Much more than a reminder of the last two years. More than a sign to other men/women that we were together. But it was and will continue to be a little peak at the future we want so desperately to build. One that we've assured each other we will build with continued love and adoration.
