Recently, I had to give a speech as a kind of culmination to my Persuasion class, and I chose to give it on the negative stigma around clinical anxiety and panic attacks. Surprise, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety this year, and I have frequent panic attacks that have become a huge part of my life. Part of me thought that no one would necessarily care about anxiety or at least that I had nothing new to say. However, when I got the feedback from everyone else in the class, they all had a lot of really good questions, and, weirdly, a lot of strangers came up to me afterwards and thanked me for sharing my perspective, as they had never experienced someone who was so open before. So I have this giant packet of questions that I got back about anxiety, and I thought I would try something different and try and answer the most asked questions. Here goes nothing.
Is being anxious the same thing as having anxiety?
No. Everyone feels anxious at some point in their life, but not everyone experiences severe anxiety. Obviously, it's really hard to tell the difference if someone says they have anxiety or if they're anxious since the terms are so similar. To put it very simply, it's kind of like the difference between feeling sad and having depression, except with the emotion of fear instead of sadness. Being afraid is a temporary feeling, but having anxiety is being afraid all the time with no real reason, and is evident in a lot of physical signs like having constantly cold and sweaty palms, having your heart race for no reason, and, if the anxiety isn't addressed quickly enough, panic attacks.
Why does anxiety occur?
So basically, there are two types of severe anxiety: the kind that you're born with, and the kind that is more of a symptom of things like PTSD than the root issue. Because of intense emotional abuse in my past, I was taught to be afraid all the time, and therefore my brain is pretty much on overdrive constantly, looking for potential threats even when no threats exist at all. And, when there is a threat, even if it seems really small and inconsequential to someone from the outside, my brain kind of goes into overdrive and I have a panic attack where I start shaking and have trouble breathing. Sometimes, while either going through or fighting off a panic attack, I start to believe that people don't care about me at all or I become super clingy and needy, crossing social boundaries in an attempt to feel wanted. I guess the little freakouts are my brain's way of protecting me. Good job, brain. You're trying your best.
There's also another kind of severe anxiety that people are born with, which has to do more with chemical imbalances in the brain. I don't go through it myself, so I feel like I can't really speak from the point of view of someone who does. The symptoms are pretty similar, but it's just a difference of having anxiety and that's it, or having other relational issues based on abuse as well. However, the internet is a glorious place to learn new things, so you if you feel so inclined, you can read more about it from a professional's perspective.
How do you deal with your anxiety?
Honestly, because I didn’t realize that I had anxiety until this past year, when my repressed fear started to manifest itself into panic attacks. I’m still learning how to “deal.” I talk about how I’m feeling a lot (all of my friends who just read that line are probably shaking their heads at how much of a understatement that was), and surrounding myself with people who yank me out of my own head and back into reality are essential to being able to operate in some kind of normal way. If I can calm myself down enough during a panic attack to actually form human words, prayer centers me like no other "technique." I also write a lot (go figure, no, really?) I would suggest just finding a way to create something beautiful, even through the anxiety, because you’ll be reminded that there are good things in the world and the anxious thoughts will die down a little.
How can someone who doesn’t experience anxiety help someone who does suffer from anxiety daily?
Obviously, I can only speak for myself, but I think just in general being verbally affirmative is incredibly helpful. I can’t really let the anxiety convince me that nobody will ever care about me if I constantly have people by my side telling me that I am loved and appreciated and irreplaceable. Additionally, I would much rather have someone come right out and say, “Hey, I’m not a fan of you,” than to have passive aggressive relationships. I’m not sure if my anxiety is filling in the gaps with ugly things or the individual actually doesn’t hold me in great regard.
OK, so why the heck does it matter for people to be aware of anxiety if they aren't going through it themselves? First of all, it's always good to try and understand mental problems, just so you can react to things like panic attacks in a loving and empathetic way. But 80 percent of those who suffer from anxiety don't actually know what's going on. They've lived with fear controlling their life for so long that they forget that there is a way to live that doesn't center around feeling threatened all the time. So I encourage you to get educated. You may be able to help someone else, or even yourself find a better way of life.
