Popping up a few ads on my laptop, as one does when browsing anything on the internet these days, a person can come across article after article and comment after nasty comment impugning others for their opinions and actions on that all-consuming topic of feminism.

Cue eye rolls.

I know, I know. I’m sick of it, too. And really, we should be!

Now, before you go off on me in the comments section about how ignorant I am because you have nothing better to do with your life than harass strangers over the internet, I’m not going to give my own personal opinion on this whole feminist shtick. I’m not going to say what I believe in or who, for that matter, because that’s highly irrelevant.

Actually, I can’t believe in something I don’t have any information about.

That’s the problem, I think.

We’re being attacked with so many opinions from so many different sides that it’s difficult to know what feminists stand for at all.

Back then, it was easier: Women’s right to vote, Nice and easy.

But now?

It’s anyone’s guess.

I know it’s got something to do with equal wage opportunities, but I’ve seen so many mixed messages you’d think I was watching a late night TV infomercial.

Actually, I’m not sure that all feminists agree on what they’re standing for, either.

There are the soft core feminists that just silently judge everyone walking past, and then there are the affectionately name Femi-Nazis who go ape on anyone who dares to open a door for them (I guess chivalry is dead, guys. RIP. Not gonna lie, I’m kinda sad about that one).

People do protests without clothing, go without proper undergarments, and say that they don’t want to and don’t have to be pretty. Some don’t want to be complimented at all. But then there’s the movement saying that everyone is beautiful, which is something I though they didn’t care about. It’s so conflicting. Oh, not to mention people whining that obese women should get more coverage in magazines and advertisements. It’s a business, people! They’re trying to make money, and the tried and true way to do that is by using sexy, skinny girls. Deal with it. Besides, we shouldn’t support fat (sorry, I mean curvy) people. We should support their efforts to become healthier.

But I digress.

Demonstrations supporting anything from public nudity to unhygienic policies all the way to glorifying heart disease! These all added together lead to a ridiculously confused public awash with contradictory messages.

I have no idea what they even stand for anymore.

I’m confused.

We’re all confused.

Which is why I think that the way, perhaps the only way, to solve all this is for the feminists to invest in a good PR agent.

Hear me out.

I can see it now: A bright, colorful ad campaign, complete with punchy, vector images that stand out as well as appeal to the millennials who are affected by this movement. There’d be a serious but playful typeface, and best of all, a succinct, to the point slogan. Not to mention a mission statement that actually lets us know what they’re standing for. Imagine the merchandising opportunities. Buttons, pins, stickers. Patches are coming back, you know. Hats, scarves, even drink cozies for when the cold weather hits. Pure genius. And lucrative, I might add.

Get the word out.

We could integrate a comprehensive advertising campaign that promotes unification of all involved and actually educates, instead of belittles.

The possibilities are endless.

Is it all just an idle daydream, or my designer’s brain talking?

Maybe.

But just maybe, the key to making people understand is cheap, overpriced products oversimplified to appeal to the idiot masses.

So they can better understand.

And agree with all you feminists out there freezing with no clothes on.