Selfless. A word that simply cannot be described in just the word it was given to name it. This word is much more than just some adjective to be tossed around describing someone for no real reason. Selflessness is bigger than most people can imagine. The word was first used in the year 1821. It simply means, “to show concern for others more than you do yourself”. I want this to be used to describe me someday. I want to have earned this title by the time I pass on to the next life. I know this may seem stuck up or fatuous to some but to me, it will be the marker for how well I lived my life.

I have always had a way of letting things slide. If someone let me down, I would say, “It’s okay”. I never expected plans to happen because it was hard to trust the people telling me of those plans. I learned to be comfortable with not being sure. I sacrificed how I felt because I never wanted to hurt the other person. I am always trying to look for the good in situations because there isn’t much else you can do. The one problem I have found in this way of communicating, is that people end up just walking over you. They never fully understand that what they don’t do is effecting you more and more each time. I will never claim to be perfect or anything close to that, but I try to do what I say every time I say something. It’s important to honor your own words even when those words don’t seem very significant to you. They may be the world to someone else.

I grew up and learned that saying, “it’s okay,” isn’t okay. I learned that lesson far enough in life then I want anyone else to learn it. Selfless doesn’t mean worthless. Understand that the person who wants to help needs to be helped as well. I have found that each day is a gift and you will never quite get the day completely right, but you can try. Thinking of each day as a chance to make someone else feel as good as I did on one of my best days makes the world easier to handle. I am the type of person who cries when a homeless person is on the side of the road and I didn’t give them money.

Everyone seems to have their own opinions on this topic, but mine is that it’s not my place to judge whether he will use that money wisely or not. I am only there to simply lend a hand up. I don’t care how they got there or why they haven’t gotten out of there. It’s not my place to blame them and crucify them for their past. I feel responsible to do what little I can in this big world. I continue to do those things even when I know they aren’t being praised because that’s the person I am.

Selfless to me is giving your time, energy, spirit, money, etc. to a cause that is greater than yourself. Giving ten dollars to a homeless man isn’t going to make him any less homeless or any more homeless. That may have just restored that man's faith in the people around him. Taking the time to visit a senior living community could in one visit transform how you see everything in the world. Time is precious and I know I take it for granted more than I should. That lesson was one that crushed my soul for awhile. I had a friend who was indeed in a senior living community in my town. I was young at the time and her name never really stuck with me. I traveled to sing with my grandma and one of our pastors once a month on a Sunday.

She couldn’t talk very well and she didn’t do much but smile. It hit me one day that just because someone is different doesn’t make them any less important. She always wanted to sing Jingle Bells even if it wasn’t Christmas time. We always sang that song for her. She would hold my hand so tight and that small act made her heart soar. She is one of the strongest memories I have at a young age. She touched my life without saying more than two words. She passed away and I don’t know if it was just my age, but I didn’t even think to ask where she went when I showed up to find her seat empty. When I finally was told what had happened, I lost a small twinkle in my eye, I think. This is the type of memory I hope to leave behind. I want to touch people’s lives and leave a mark in this world bigger than anything I could dream.

I will get there someday. I was raised to be kind, caring, and considerate. The hard part is when you get on your own and have to realize how much of those lessons actually stuck with you. I know I’ll be okay, though. I am strong and I don’t follow the crowd. I will be a leader of my generation. One day you will see my name and I hope you say, “that Mykaila, she was a selfless one”.