Mom, you used to be everything to me: my hero, my rock, and my best friend. There was a time when I couldn't imagine my life without you, now I have lived most of my life without you. I am sad that you never got to watch me grow up. You never got to see my achievements, downfalls, and heartbreaks. I'm also happy because of the good times we did have. I am happy you aren't suffering anymore. I'm happy I had you as a mother, you were truly the best.
I know you are watching over me, I can tell. This is what I would tell you if I had the chance.
First of all, I miss you. I miss everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you would always do anything to make me happy. I miss the four-wheeler rides where we would go way too fast in the pasture. I miss cuddling in bed and watching the same Disney movies over and over. I even miss the hard times, like sleeping on the floor by the couch while you were sick, because at least you were still here.
I hope I am making you proud. Everything I do, I have done with you in mind. It has been 14 years since you died, and I still make every important decision considering what you would tell me. I try everyday to follow my dreams and do what would make me happy. In fact, that is why I am publishing this article. I ultimately want to be a writer, so this is me following my dreams for you.
I still wish you were here. I still cry on holidays, or even on a random Tuesday. Holiday's are especially hard because you would always make a big breakfast for us and you were always so excited on every occasion. You always radiated the room with joy. Everyone enjoyed being around you and you were always focused on making others happy. Which is a trait that was greatly appreciated by everyone who knew you. That is why I miss you being around more than anything.
I believe I turned out a lot like you. This point could not make me happier to say. I get told by your friends and family that I look like you often. It is then that I feel most beautiful. You were stunning, mom, even when you got very sick. I also get told that my personality closely follows yours. This is something I will always cherish about myself because I know if I am half the person you were, I am doing pretty great. I'm told that I have your wit, sense of humor, and generous heart. If I could have any traits from you, I sure am glad I got those.
Lastly, my life without you has been rocky, but I am happy. I want you to know that above all, I am happy at this point in my life. In a short few months I will be graduating with my degree and becoming an Elementary School Teacher. I am pursuing my dream of becoming an author and have been working on a book. I am also engaged to the man of my dreams. I am so sad you didn't get to meet him, but trust me, you would approve. I promise through all my achievements, I have kept you with me every step of the way and I will continue to do so.
I love you mom, always.
- Your daughter
