Going into high school and even two years in, I was coming in around 95 pounds. I am barely 5 feet tall but still, 95 pounds is not much. I was so used to fitting into extra small and size 00 clothes. Around that time, I was beginning the cycle of figuring out which medication would best help with my mental health. With most of the medications that I was trying comes the culprit, a weight gain side effect.
Now here's the thing, for anyone growing up weight gain is expected. So naturally, over my high school years, this happened. Except for me, it was a lot more than what would be healthy. And this has been extremely hard to cope with. You always hear everyone preaching about body positivity yet then only see praise over people that are skinny and fit.
With the weight gain, a huge sense of insecurity has come along as well. I don't like knowing I gained an unhealthy amount of weight. Not just because of how it made me look, but it isn't healthy for my body physically. For my height, it is especially difficult because being so short, a low number on the scale is expected.
And of course what people say is to just work out or eat healthily. Oh if ONLY it was that simple. Yes, that is the textbook way to get your weight and health in check. But with mental health, you need to make sure that having a happy mind is your priority. As my mental health has become much better over the years, my struggle with my weight hasn't always. Especially being a college student, it is hard to be healthy 24/7.
So yes, part of me being healthy means losing some weight. But at the same time, I need to remember to love my body. Changes can't be made overnight that make everything that you want it to be, but the steps can definitely be taken to start to get there.