For a long time, I thought I hated you. I thought I hated you for leaving me at a time when I believed I needed you the most. I thought I hated you for not giving me an explanation and making me feel like I wasn't good enough. I thought I hated you for breaking my heart when you left and for making me feel extreme sadness and emptiness to the point where I started to believe that I could never be whole again. I could sit here and write down millions of reasons why I thought I hated you, but the truth is, I don't hate you at all. In fact, I'm thankful that you walked out on me because it's made me realize that my life is so much better without you.
Thank you for saving me from an unhappy future.
I'm grateful that you walked out on me because it's shown me that you had never planned to stay. The fact that you were so anxious to leave made me realize that you never did deserve me in your life in the first place and that you were only a chapter that needed to be closed.
Thank you for showing me how strong I am.
After you left, my heart shattered to pieces and it hit me that I was alone. I didn't think that my heart could be put back together, but piece by piece I managed to do it and it was without your help. After a while, I was able to move on from you, and that shows me that I can accomplish anything.
Thank you for showing me that people change.
In the beginning, you were there for me. I told you everything and you knew all of my secrets. I could call you even if it was 2 a.m. and I knew that you would be there to answer. But soon enough, you went from being my best friend, my soulmate and my entire world to being a complete stranger; a person who I seemed to have never met before.
Lastly, thank you for choosing to walk away.
I thought that I needed you to better myself, but when you left I quickly learned that wasn't at all true. Bettering myself had to begin with me first. When you walked away, I realized that you never saw me for me, which meant that you could never have loved me for me, and I'm happy you saved me from that. If you had never walked away, I wouldn't have learned that you were toxic to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. Thank you for the pain you caused me, the tears I cried for you and the sleepless nights I had when you left. I've learned that it was never you that I lost; I had lost myself trying to search for the person I wanted in you. Without you, I would have never known that I deserved better. I'm not going to say that I wish for you to experience what I have because I don't. Losing you was devastating, but I only hope that one day you find happiness and you find someone who you can love as much as I have loved you.
