My Life Is Definitely A Sitcom

I came to a realization the other night. But not one of those "Huh, it's called an airport because it's like a port for boats except in the sky."

No.

This is one of those everything-before-now-was-pointless-for-I-am-now-reborn-a-mighty-lion-amongst-the-measly-sheep moments.

Guys, I'm living in a sitcom.

It all makes sense now. The flashbacks, constant narrations about my life, why I'm so damn funny, pair that with the laugh track in my head ...

All I do is daydream. How have I gotten this far in life when my eyes are always up and to the right?

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It's because my life is actually broken into an average of weekly 22 minute segments which are then broken into eight minutes with commercials. If I could choose what the commercials are about I'd say Tide Pens, and previews for the "feel-good" piece they always have at the end of the local news.

Now back to the problem at hand.

People ask me for advice ALL THE TIME about stuff I am definitely not qualified for. Yet they use the advice I give? And it works? How is that possible?

It's not. The only logical explanation is that my mind is actually a writers room full of 25 white guys and two to three women of varying races.

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In this sitcom I'm basically the main character. But it's not because I'm narcissistic. This is literally all in my head. So I think I deserve to be the quirky, optimistic girl, looking for success in every aspect of her life.

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But, I'm also Chandler. I know everyone thinks they're Chandler, but trust me, I told myself I was Monica for too long. I've embraced who I am.

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I'm secretly a super hero and I'm studying advertising, so...draw you're own conclusions.

Now here's something we can all relate to. How many times have you heard something and you actually couldn't so you just...

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You've done it. You know you've looked into the imaginary camera hoping the audience will sympathize with your life. Don't worry. We do.

So what's the basis of this sitcom you ask very warily as you secretly call the police? Think "Seinfeld," but set during the last two seasons of "Boy Meets World." About absolutely nothing in college. My closest friends and I came together through a series of unlikely circumstances but also very quickly. Like pilot episode quickly. We all have different backgrounds and have specific personality types. So specific I could probably make a Buzz Feed quiz if y'all wanted to see which one of us you are most like.

From the outside, you'd think we wouldn't get along because of how different we are, yet the differences are what make us so close. A few of us have known each other for a long time, a couple others were roommates that developed a sibling-like bond, while one was kind of just found and adopted. We are WAY too close and know far too much about each other to turn back now. We hang out together every single day, have our set spots and catchphrases, we've developed traditions and even have a favorite hangout spot (yes, you are correct, it is my living room).

What kind of NBC lucid dream is this?

You can mix and match these archetypes creating different relationships between each character – I mean my friends – ensuring memorable moments and a cleverly written A/B story line every episode – I mean day. Where else can you hop into a conversation at any point after a quick sound effect and the conversation always makes sense?

A SITCOM.

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If you're still reading, you either relate to what I'm saying or you think I'm a nut, but it's so fascinating you can't look away. Like a car crash. Either way, you're probably asking yourself right about now: "Kelsi, which season are you in?"

Five. Without a doubt, I'm in season five.

We're in our prime! Ratings have never been higher and the Emmy's are pouring in. New place, everyone came back seeming more mature after the two-part season finale where we all went on a road trip that started out disastrously, but ended up being the greatest time of our lives. It's different, but you like it. We even added a new character. The audience isn't sure how they feel about him yet, but they realize he's staying.

So now you know. You are amongst someone who exists above you in a state of television. Do not be alarmed, children. This is not something to fear. In fact, you should be joyful! If you're lucky, I might just let you have a cameo.