Dear yet-to-be-named-child,

By the time you come around I'm probably going to be old and uncool, so I thought I would write to you while I'm still young and cool (well, young at least). Currently I am a few months shy of my twenty-first birthday and I'm in my third year of college as a history major at Walla Walla University.

I don't know what you'll look like, if you'll be a boy or a girl, who your father will be or even if you will be mine by birth. I do know that regardless of any of that you are going to face challenges in life. I won't be able to protect you from all of those challenges any more than my parents could protect me from all of mine, but I hope I'll do my best, just like they did.

People can be mean -- heartless even. Don't let them win. Don't let them steal your light, your joy. Don't let life make you jaded. Remember that in most cases those people are hurting too. Facing their own unique challenges. Sometimes the best way to fight back is by being kind. Asking someone how they've been rather than lashing out. Sometimes it won't work, but sometimes it will. At the end of the day being able to live with your choices is far more important than what others think of you.

Sometimes it will be the people closest to you who hurt you the most. It makes sense of course. You've let them in, opened yourself to them -- trusted them. Remember that they rarely mean to hurt you. And that you will probably hurt those you love as well. Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness, or to give it. However, forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to immediately trust them again, or let them back into your life. Be kind to others, but be kind to yourself too.

Finally, it may be cliche (at least it certainly is today), but one of the most important things for you to remember is to be yourself. Be confident in who you are. Be proud of the things that make you unique. Can you imagine how boring this world would be if we were all the same? If we all looked or thought the same way? Just don't let this be an excuse to never change or grow. You aren't perfect, although I may disagree when I finally meet you, and there will always be things that you can learn. I'm not the same person now that I was at ten (I'm almost a foot taller for one thing), and I won't be the same person in ten years that I am now. I have learned to be more patient, more at ease in my own skin and more thoughtful of what others have experienced. You will too.

With love,

Your mother.