I have always been wary of feminism. And by wary I mean I have said, “I hate feminists" on multiple occasions and in numerous conversations. This has not been because I think women cannot do the same things men do, because I do think we can. This has not been because I don't think women should be paid the same as men, because I do think we should. This has not been because I think female role models cannot put forth the same strong, powerful, accomplished message that men do, because we do.

Feminist has been an identifier I have always shied away from because of the non-equality driven qualities I have always associated with feminists. Refusal to sit next to someone who works for a company that pays men more than women. Verbally attacking a man who refers to “women" as “girls." Introducing themselves by saying, hi, I'm so and so, and I'm a feminist.

I feel both naïve and ignorant for thinking that this list, apart from the interest in general gender equality, defines a feminist and therefore, makes feminism an unwanted association for two reasons: I should never feel ashamed to be known as someone, or to be associated with someone, who is willing to speak out in even the most extreme and evident ways for basic rights; and, secondly, feminism is not something that is defined by a hard list of three actions. Feminism is something that means something different to everyone. It has taken me 20 years to realize this, but that realization has evolved into a concept I think about every day.

“I believe feminism is grounded in supporting the choices of women even if we wouldn't make certain choices ourselves." Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist.

I didn't think I would ever, or could ever, consider myself a feminist. This was before I started reading Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist. Ironically, I asked my mom to buy it because I thought it was a book about swimming against the current that is feminism. However, this feminism, Roxane Gay's definition of feminism, is the feminism I believe in. This is the feminism I identify with. This is my feminism.

The author made me realize I don't have to be Emma Watson and start an international movement campaigning for gender equality, nor do I have to be my sister who speaks out about women's rights any chance she gets. I can just sit back and watch, approving of my fellow feminists, wanting them to succeed in their, our, mission, but not taking any world-changing action myself.

I realize this stance is controversial and many feminists would probably say I'm not a feminist at all. But I believe that I want the world to recognize women as intelligent and strong and fierce and impressive humans just as much as Emma Watson does. Just because I'm not currently doing anything besides agreeing with the morality behind this fight does not mean I do not deserve to call myself a feminist. Like Gay, I believe that I am a feminist, but I recognize that I am a “bad feminist."

I embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. I'm not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I'm right. I am just trying -- trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.

So whether you are more like Emma Watson or me and Roxane Gay, rock on with your feminist self.