My Journey With Divorced Parents

My Journey With Divorced Parents

I realize now that things are better this way.

109
views

When I was about 4 years old, my parents got divorced. Now, I know that kids having divorced parents is not something that is uncommon at all. But everyone has a different experience and story to share.

Since my parents' divorce happened when I was at such a young age, I don't really have very many memories of them ever really living in the same house. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of childhood memories with my parents, but a vast majority of them are either with my mom or dad.

And I never really knew why they got divorced, aside from what they told me when I was older. It wasn't until my senior year that I really thought about what it was like for them to have to explain their situation to such a young kid. I'm not an only child, but my sister is four years older than me, so she had a bit more of an understanding. And my brother was just a toddler, so it wasn't much of an issue for him.

I think one of the hardest things to get used to was having to move cities when my mom got remarried. We moved from Overland Park, Kansas to Lee's Summit, Missouri. I was a very shy kid and absolutely hated the idea of having to change schools. It also made things even harder because my dad was still in Kansas, so everything I did revolved around my schedule of going between my mom and dad's houses. It eventually became a normal thing as time went on, and I got used to it.

Having your parents get divorced is a big adjustment for anyone, especially when it comes to them getting remarried. With my mom, she got remarried when I was in first grade and has been married ever since. He has a daughter just a few months older than my sister, and we all get along great. My dad got remarried around the same time as well, but ended up getting another divorce when I was 14 years old.

This is something that took a major toll on me, mentally and emotionally.

See, I was very close to my stepsister from my dad's second marriage. We were less than a year apart in age and got along insanely well. We did almost everything together. But after the divorce, she never talked to me again. I tried to keep in contact with her for some time, but eventually gave up when I never heard back. It gave me a lot of trust issues because family is the one thing people say will never leave.

After that, I struggled a lot with the idea of my dad dating. I was afraid to let them into my life because I knew that nothing was guaranteed, no matter what people told me. Because every time I even slightly started to let my walls down, something would happen and I put my defenses back up.

Eventually, my trust issues began to expand into relationships of all kinds. I was just afraid that people would leave and take a part of me with them and I hated the idea of that. It's still something I struggle with today. But as time went on, and I opened up to my dad about how I felt, things got easier. I realized it's okay to have a guard up when meeting new people, but that it's also okay to let them in at a pace that you control.

As I look back at my past today, I realized that everything I have been through because of my parents' divorce was meant to happen. I wouldn't be the person I am today if things had played out differently, and I'm thankful for the way things went. My mom is still happily married, and my dad is with someone who is absolutely perfect for him and I completely adore.

And I know that if my parents hadn't split, they would have never found the people they were meant to be with. I know I wouldn't have met certain people in my life that have made huge impacts on me in a multitude of ways. I wouldn't have gotten the chance to experience lots of the things I have throughout my life if things had gone differently.

We all just have to remember that everything happens for a reason. And I couldn't be more grateful for that.

Popular Right Now

It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
873369
views

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

There Is No 'Right Way' To React To A Shooting

Everyone is different.

156
views

After the shootings this year in New Zealand, Brazil, and close to home for some of us Aurora, people have been reacting in different ways. With some offering their thoughts and prayers, donating money to help pay for the funerals of the victims, fighting for action in regards to ending gun violence, candlelight vigils basically anything that can help them in this time of grief.

There is no right or wrong way to react to a shooting — everyone grieves in their own ways. We should not judge one another for how we grieve in a tragedy.

People have been saying that thoughts and prayers won't do anything. However, maybe it can be a comfort to some people—a way to let people know that they are thinking of them and that they care.

Sometimes people may want to donate money or blood to help out any survivors who may have suffered from blood loss or create GoFundMe accounts to either help out with medical expenses or to pay for the funerals of the victims or even start charities like Islamic Relief USA. Donating your time and money is a good way to help out because you are making a difference that is a form of action you are taking.

There is also grieving in the form of vigils. One example of a vigil is this guy who makes crosses every time there is some kind of tragedy. Vigils are often a good way to remember the victims, to pray for the healing of the survivors, to talk about what they were like as people.

Some people even want to take action by demanding that the laws change a good example of this would be March for Our Lives, which happened after the Parkland shooting last year. This march was fighting for gun control or should I say changes in the gun laws America currently has.

Some people also do acts of solidarity, for example, wearing a hijab like the prime minister of New Zealand did when she went to go visit the Christchurch shooting survivors. My community college had something a couple of years ago called Hijab Day to help show solidarity with our friends. I participated, and it was quite an experience—no one should ever be afraid to be who they are.

There is never a right or wrong way to react, and no one should ever criticize one another for how they react. It's not a test where there is a right or wrong answer—everyone is different and that is okay.

No one should ever have to be afraid to go to school, go to work, or go to their place of worship or wherever they decide to go. Whatever we decide to do to make a change, as long as we are taking some kind of action, is good enough for me.

Nothing ever gets done by sitting around and doing nothing, so whatever it is you do, get out there and do it. As long as you are showing support it doesn't matter how you show it.

Related Content

Facebook Comments