Every time we turn on the news, log onto social media, or tune into what seems like the "real world," we are almost reminded how despicable the world around us can be.
Because of this, we are conditioned, I believe, to draw rigid social barriers, and cling to them for security and a sense of safety. And as much as that makes sense, that's not what we were designed for as human beings.
We are designed to love, to be united, to hold hands with our brothers and sisters that we co-inhabit the planet with. This I believe strongly and intimately, as a human and a Christian.
So what happens when what is ingrained in us by society, by preconceived notions, is that we hold identities in us that are divisive and paradoxical to one another? Maybe like, for instance, you can't be a gay Christian.
As a Christian, I believe this places a cap on Christ's unconditional love and grace. As a human, I believe it can be harmful to an individual, and can cause feelings of self-hate and an unhealthy view of self-worth.
So, to seek a unifier, and an opinion from a unifier, I ventured out to contact an old friend of mine, Lauren. Lauren is creative, kind, and positive, and everyone who meets her knows that about her. That's what makes her special.
Lauren is also Christian.
Lauren is also openly gay.
This makes Lauren a beautiful unifier between two communities, which I believe as a Christian, are both beautifully and crazily loved by Christ, in need of grace throughout their pursuit of this life.
When I approached Lauren with the idea of an interview on her faith and sexuality, she agreed excitedly.
Below, you will find an interview conducted with honest hearts.
Q1) Are you still an avid "Lord of the Rings" Fan?
"Absolutely! My goal is to, one day, marathon all three "Hobbit" movies and all three "Lord of the Rings" movies in one sitting."
Q2) So Lauren, we both came from backgrounds of rigid Christianity. Remember when we had to wear those plaid jumpers and button up shirts with those ITCHY lace socks to school every day? Anyways, how did growing up Christian impact who you are as a person today?
"Ah yes, just be glad you didn’t stick around to experience the full-length skirts that looked like potato sacks. In answer to your question, it affects so many areas and beliefs I hold today. My basic morals are the ones from the Bible that I’ve been taught from a young age. Being a Christian also gives me hope enough to stick it out through some tough moments in my life, because I know there’s a God who genuinely cares about what happens to me and loves me."
Q3) What does being a Christian mean to you? What is Christ to you and how does your faith play a role in your ever day life?
"To me it’s not just simply a title. It really is about the relationship I have with Christ. He is my Savior, my Healer, and my Father and Friend. He is the one who loves me when it feels like no one else does. When I live my life, I try to live in a way that the same love he gives to me is manifested toward those around me. I’ve told people before, and I’ll say it again, that my ultimate goal as a Christian is to live a life full of love and honesty."
Q4) When did you first know that you were gay?
"I started to realize it when I was maybe 16."
Q5) How did being gay affect you in the view of the church/other Christians? What were the responses you got from your fellow Christians/parents/society in general as an openly gay woman? Does being a Christian present hardships for you in the gay community? What responses have you gotten from other gay individuals about your faith?
"Well, most of my old church family was probably shocked when I came out, but if they had any negative thoughts, they didn’t say them to me. However I know my parents are heartbroken and that’s the hardest thing to deal with. They take it as me being rebellious against them and against God, despite my telling them several times that it isn’t like that at all.
"I haven’t gotten much of a backlash from other gay individuals about my faith. Most of the time they are respectful of my beliefs, considering the fact that I do not practice my faith legalistically in any way. I can relate to other gay individuals more easily than I can relate to other Christians."
Q6) Did being gay present any hardships for you?
"Absolutely. I had to be very secretive about my sexuality throughout high school and even college. I couldn’t let my parents know. Only a couple select friends knew. I went to a strict private Christian college, and if they were to find out, I would have been expelled. It was also extremely difficult to sit through sermons where I was constantly being told that I was abnormal or dirty just because I happen to be attracted to my same gender. It was like being constantly downgraded."
Q7) How do you typically respond to people (if you’ve been posed with this question), or how would you respond to people (if you haven’t been asked this question) when they say that being gay is biblically incorrect?
"I would say that maybe it is biblically incorrect. But I don’t think it’s a mistake that I am how I am. I can’t change who I’m attracted to any more than anyone else can. And if I can’t change it, why am I being told to fight it? If I can’t be with another woman, then am I condemned to be alone for the rest of my life? Or marry a man I don’t love? I think that God loves me for who I am, regardless. And I don’t think he would want me to live in misery because I’m not allowed to be attracted to the same gender."
Q8) As Christians, you and I alike, we believe that that means we have an intimate, emotional relationship with the Creator of the Universe, and that He knows everything about us. What do you believe he says about you in all of the wonderful, complex, diverse things that you are?
"I believe He looks on me with love, despite all of my flaws. And if my sexuality is, indeed, a flaw, then I believe He loves me in spite of it. He’s the only one who can see my heart, and He knows my intentions."
Q9) Has being gay ever caused you to question your faith? If so, how did you overcome that doubt?
"Yes, on more than one occasion. Especially during college. I was being so consistently bombarded with the message that being gay is evil and wrong that I actually considered turning my back on Christianity altogether. I was so conflicted because I knew I couldn’t change who I am, but the message I was being fed was that if I were truly a Christian I would give up my sexuality. Eventually I got through it. I believe what I believe, and if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. But at least I’m being honest with myself and everyone else."
Q10) No more questions—insert anything you’d like to say here that you’d want a potential reader, Christian or non-Christian, to take home with them, to remember. Write anything that you’d like people to know, anything you think you’d like they gay/Christian community to know?
"I just want everyone to know that it IS possible to be a Christian and be gay. I love my God, and He is so much bigger and wiser than me. And like I said, he knows my intentions. So for any Christians out there who are struggling with their sexuality, please don’t worry so much about whether it “matches up” with what you’ve been taught. God knows you and loves you. Live openly and honestly. You’ll be much happier for it."
There you have it.
As Christians, we must believe that everyone, every single individual, is loved unswervingly by Christ.
Every homosexual.
Every transgender.
Every CIS-gender.
We are all people. We are all extended the sweet and wonderful adoration of Christ, along with his grace on grace on grace.
And we need to realize, in a world filled with hatred, coldness, and division, sticking with grace is a much lighter load to carry. Choose grace. Choose love.
