It took me more than a decade to fully grasp the concept of the word; to dive into the meaning behind the not-so-simple term.
You see, everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to spend their life in the deep darkness watching their peers spin in circles giggling, wondering why they don’t feel like that, the weight pushing them down as their knees crumpled beneath them.
I spent a good deal of time just like that: curious as to why I wasn’t happy. You can’t force the natural feeling. It took until I had lost a few people to truly figure it out. And I’m grateful for that.
You can’t depend on others to be happy. Sure, they seem to add to your happiness when you find the right people, but you can’t just bank on another human being to feel what you are destined to feel. People leave. Some without reasons, others with reasons that hurt you within.
It’s like waiting for it to be sunny to be happy. Chances are, it’s going to rain or snow or Lord knows what else, nowadays. The sun isn’t you, sunshine. It’s got a mind of its own. And so do you. So use it, embrace it. Happiness is a unique term derived from the feeling within. It’s a combination of the brain and heart feeling alive and delighted. We don’t need the odds to be on our side to be happy. Being lucky is not always being happy.
Some of the richest people in this world do not feel rich within. Why? Sometimes having everything doesn’t make you happy.
It’s a weird concept that’s different for everyone. To me, being happy is waking up to a new day. Laughing at your own joke because it was hysterical. Dancing in the bathroom because that new song is fire.
It’s what gets you moving. What gives you butterflies — the good kind. Not the moths that populate in the pit of your stomach, but the free, beautiful butterflies that make you feel on top of the world as they soar. It’s spinning around in circles in your backyard during a summer night as the fireflies circle you, your friends betting on if you can run in a straight line when you finally stop spinning. Laughing till you aren’t mustering up a sound, tears streaming down your face, your stomach hurting. Smiling from ear to ear because you can and because you want to, not because someone had to make you.
It’s smiling at the little things that fill your life. What makes you happy, makes you happy. It comes from your strength and your willingness to know you’re too blessed to be stressed. Because happiness is not finally being able to say “hey I made it” or “hey, I don’t need her/him/them.” It’s thinking “hey, I’m smiling because of me.” Standing up and screaming “I feel alive.”
Don’t second guess things. You don’t need certain people to be happy. What you need is you. Hold tight onto your close friends and learn to let go of the things that don’t truly make you smile. It’s OK. Sometimes, you need to burn some bridges to create distance. It’s going to take a while to learn how to truly be happy. I’m still learning, and it’s been over a decade. It may just take a few more years to truly get it, but it's never too late to start. You'll get there, and so will I. The road to happiness is full of a lot of experimenting, but the inner scientist inside of you is ready.
Climb the mountain and enjoy the view from the top, but please make sure you enjoy the view along the way as well. Devour that cookie, crush that workout. Do what makes you happy and don’t look back.
You feel that? It’s stemming from within. Don’t try too much to impress others. Be content with yourself and strive to be the best you can be. That’s all you can do. Don’t let life go by climbing the mountain unsure of the lovely view around you.
Time and time again, things and people will obstruct your view. But, it’s up to you to acquire that view.
