You know how people always say, "you adore those who ignore you and ignore those who adore you?" Well, I think the same can go for a certain place or certain time periods in our lives. You see, while growing up, we get used to the familiarity of home, the people there, and the schedules we have to follow. Then, we get older, we graduate, and we go off into the world to find bigger and better things. Every now and then though, we come back and what I learned is that coming back feels a lot like getting broken up with.
I remember a specific day that I was visiting my old English teacher on one of my days off. I drove the same route that I had driven for the past four years to the same old school, but I realized that it felt different that time. It was as if I missed driving those roads, the same roads that I had driven twice a day, five days a week, one hundred eighty days out of the year, for the past four. I missed them and I realized I did because I was no longer expected to drive them. I was no longer expected to be anywhere, to make the 8:10 bell, or follow a specific schedule. I realized that I had been running too late or worried about being somewhere else all those years, that I never just enjoyed the drive there. I ignored it.
I believe that's why coming back felt so much like a break up. I spent so much time wanting to leave that place that when it finally stopped wanting me to be there, it almost hurt. It was like being ignored by someone I adored (cheesy, I know). But I realized that nothing feels as strange as having to check in at the front office at a place I used to just walk right into, or going to a football game where there are more strangers than familiar faces. When those places that always expected you to be there or always had a seat saved for you no longer do, you kind of feel bad for not noticing it much before. Us human beings have a problem with that; appreciating something only when it's gone. Maybe that's something we'll always have to keep learning.
As for the break up though, my hometown is seeing someone else. He moves on pretty quickly, but maybe they'll appreciate him a little more than I did. I'm no longer in the picture, but he'll always have a place in my heart.I think in the end, whether we admit it or not, he wins us all over.
