I started this post a month ago on the flight back to Taiwan December 22nd. After spending a semester at Brown, I have stepped away from my comfort zone, met so many people beyond Providence, and gained a new sense of who I am and what I want to be. The transition turned an innocent little girl, with pure courage, to a freshman so attached to her future and life. When I called back home, there was a widening gap between each conversation. Eventually, I was utterly lost on the flight home. How much have I changed? I have always been gathering evidence to prove my growth.
Most of the time I was full of a rambling of thoughts. Anyways, those unexpected encounters and connections have inspired me to rethink my life, thrown me off to idle state, and raised me up to show me that I could relive my life—in any way I want. I have been pulling this piece out on the journey back to Taiwan and to the States, but it has never been finished, never had I found the courage to face the sentimental change between home and me.
I went on a hiatus after the first semester at Brown. I went back home and spent a lot of time with my family. I expected something would be different—perhaps my little brother would be more mature or mom would be less nervous—but none of that happened. Another day I was hanging out with my friends, coding while she is preparing for her college exam. When I peeked at her tests, I was suddenly pulled back to the time when I kept doing SAT Critical Reading booklets, memorizing a deck of vocabulary when I commuted from one place to another, and struggling in the dark of never ending test preparations. Yet, the pressure has become so distant to me.
What else has changed? The people. The people who are so polite that do not seek help or mentorship. The people who easily settle down with what life offers, not asking for more. The people who I dearly admire, yet become another that I could hardly recognize. We indeed have each grown into different human beings, yet such distinct difference hasn’t set us apart.
Even with so many changes, my feeling for home, nourished by the love of family and friends, still thrives no matter how far I have been.
