To Orlando, the LGBT community, the United States, the world, and my readers: my heart hurts. My heart is so so heavy, and my mind is so so tired. I woke up on Sunday the 12th to text messages and phone updates telling me about what had happened in Orlando. I immediately turned on the news and tried to grapple with what was coming across my screen, as I felt like I had stepped back into a time warp that plopped me back to the '60s. Fifty people dead? Fifty-three people injured? At a gay nightclub?
My god, I thought. What about all the progress?
As the events continued to unfold and more details were uncovered, I watched as news anchors consistently referred to the shooting as a "terrorist attack." And I get it, the piece of sh*t who shot up Pulse, whose name I will not even give the benefit of typing, pledged allegiance to ISIS. I need you to all understand that this was first and foremost a hate crime. This man, according to his father, took 50 lives because he had seen two men kissing a few months prior. It was no coincidence that it was Pride, and it was no coincidence that a heavily armed man en route to LA Pride was also arrested that night. It was because of hate. It was because those in the LGBT community were viewed as sinful or whatever the hell barbaric thoughts run through intolerant, violent bigots heads.
This is what makes my heart so so heavy: that people loving who they love caused someone to pick up an assault rifle and wreak havoc. My heart is so so heavy because it could've been me. My heart is so so heavy because the people at Pulse that night, just like everyone at any LGBT establishment, went there to have fun, to be themselves, and to have a safe, happy and healthy environment where they can just be gay. Those that walked out of that club will never be the same. My heart hurts because of that.
My heart hurts for all the family and friends of those whose lives were lost in Orlando. My heart hurts for all the LGBT youth that was finally getting the guts to come out to their parents, their friends, and their community, and just got locked five years longer in the closet. My heart hurts for all those in the LGBT community that did come out and were not accepted by their friends, family, or community and now feel even less accepted. My heart hurts because that's exactly what people like the shooter wanted: to not allow the LGBT community to be themselves. We cannot allow that. We cannot live in fear, we cannot cram ourselves back into a closet. Wave your damn flag high. Be proud. Live in all your diversity. Exude it. Do it for the brothers and sisters that were doing it at Pulse.
I love you all, and I am with you.
My thoughts and prayers are with the family, friends, and victims of the Orlando shooting. Please continue to send everyone in the LGBT community love, light and positivity.
