I have had the pleasure of growing up in a diverse neighborhood of south Seattle in a religiously fluid home with parents who immigrated from Vietnam. This alone allowed me to have an open mind as I grew up.

As a child, I was full of love and I learned to value who the person was, not what they were. The idea of societal restraints was something I personally did not participate in nor ever wish to do so.

But not everyone is kind. Not every person I meet will automatically become my friend. And sometimes relationships simply fall apart. I've found that this is okay; one significant thing that I am thankful that happened was that I was able to grow up where things like being gay is not a bad thing—ideally.

Now, if you disagree with this statement I should probably warn you that there is going to much more where that came from and I won’t tell you how to read this or ask for your validation, I don’t need nor want it. But I respect every opinion now I only ask that you simply respect mine.

Anyway, I have had the same best friend since I was twelve years old and he’s gotten me through some pretty dark times. He’s the shoulder I cried on, the person who woke me up at 4 A.M. just to watch the sunrise, the guy who has always been there for me. He's also gay and as my first real encounter with homosexuality, I couldn't have cared less.

Now I won’t tell you anything else about him, other than the fact that because of our friendship I became very protective of him from the start of our friendship. Not that he needed it, he’s a lot stronger than I am but simply being a gay teenager was a new concept back then and people were mean.

They still are.

But growing up alongside him allowed me to have a front row seat into some of the things he had to endure that I personally wouldn’t have noticed. Things that I refuse to repeat.

For example one of my biggest pet peeve of all time is when people use the term, “gay” as a negative statement.

“That’s so gay!”

No, you mean “that’s so lame!” or “that’s so terrible!” or heck even “That’s so Raven!”

I cringe when I hear this as it is used every day and a part of it is simply pure ignorance. A huge part of it is the classic heteronormativity of our society that has always been our norm. It is not. So, please for the love of everyone, be mindful of what you say and how it affects those around you. Or, perhaps get a new derogative phrase to use?

Having a best friend like the one I do was literally the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only did I have the pleasure of watching him come to terms with himself, but it allowed me to come to terms with myself.

Since I was fifteen years old I’ve had my own series of the existential crisis of actually figuring out my sexuality. Yes, I’ve had both male and female relationships that, I’ve pretty much kept to myself unless you knew me or simply went to my high school. Otherwise, I am a firm believer that my private life remains private. However, as I get older and finally start to be more comfortable with myself, I have come to this point: I could care less who knows.

Also, as someone who enjoys writing, the idea of a truly private life is no longer the case. Not always as I am consistently using my experiences to influence my writing.

All and all, I am still figuring things out and hate labels but what I do know is that whether I am completely straight (I’m not) or entirely gay (still unsure) I don’t have to meet anyone’s standards but my own and I shouldn’t have to.

If you guys already knew this, this is old news. If you guys were skeptical, always wanted to know but didn’t have much confirmation: here it is. If you guys had no idea, well hey there is much more to me than my sexuality. Like for example, I adore penguins and have a terrible pen obsession that is borderline questionable.

Nevertheless, I am still a person and words hurt. I have had a strong support system in all of my life stages that got me through and through. So, please keep the negative opinions to yourself unless asked and never assume what you see is what you get.

Be mindful and embrace love.