Your Gains Are Not My Gains

As I have mentioned in previous articles working out and fitness has become a huge part of my life, and has even become a passion of the span of the past four years. I love pushing my body and mind further than what I limited myself to, and when someone asks me to work with them or help them reach goals like I have I am so quick to say of course!

This past summer one of the girls I worked with, which is now a dear friend of mine, asked if I would guide her in the right direction, motivate her, and even work with her some days and I immediately responded yes. Being that personal trainer is a title I one day wish to hold…she could be my “guanine pig.” When I first started working with her I told her my gains are not her gains. By that I meant I had four years under my belt and she was just beginning, and I didn’t want her discouraged if she wasn’t exceeding in everything she did because comparing yourself to others will kill security and your pride when you reach a personal goal.

Through the span of the summer I watched her grow, and it was incredible to see how she did succeed in her own way! She begin lifting more, becoming secure with herself, and even doing stuff that I was doing. No we weren’t lifting the same amount of weight because I had more training, but that didn’t mean I was any “greater” in anyway. We were at different points but on the same road to success. This summer she thought she was learning so much from me, but reality is I learned so much more from her. You see, I deal greatly with my own insecurities and flaws just like everyone else and I often look at others and think “I wish…..” fill in the blank, but working with her made me realize even more my gains aren’t your gains and that is perfectly okay.

She was so proud when she made progress and couldn't wait to tell me about it and I was so happy to have helped her reach those confident moments with herself. We are all on a path very different from one another, and with that comes different failures, accomplishments and struggle, but that doesn’t make one way more right than the other. We fall into the outward appearance and fantasize over what and who has what we might think is perfect for us. It’s easy to say “Gosh they have it all together, I wish I could have it that good”, “They are engaged getting married I wish I had already found that special someone” or “I wish I was making good of grades as he is, I guess I’m not that smart.” We are so quick to compare our success or failure to some else, and social media has enhanced this feeling of needing to out do or appear better off, that we forget we all have our own story written for us.

It may not be the story we thought should be written, but it’s by the author of all humanity so it’s destined to be beautiful. I was raised in church, front row, and at every church function…I was the pastor’s kid. I was “saved” at a very young age, but I consider my true sanctification happening my freshman year of college, and that’s when this mindset of being the “perfect christian” came about. I would look at people around me and think “God is really using them…I guess I’m not worth it or good enough to be used in such a way”, but reality was I wasn’t ready not that I wasn’t good enough. I was comparing my “gains” spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, and romantically to others instead of being confident in my own path, and acknowledging who was making my steps secure.

There is a time and a place for everything under heaven, and that being said right now just may not be the will of God, but that doesn’t mean it will never happen. Waiting on the Lord is a difficult task at which I am probably the worst at, but sometimes He uses you waiting to grow, develop and flourish you to fully prepare you for what is ahead. God knows you, from beginning to the end He has you, and He sees all of you that makes you, you. He has fabricated but not perfected a journey and in this walk there will be times you feel unworthy of the blessings poured out, and other times you feel alone, overwhelmed or He has become silent. You will look to the left and right when walking the path less traveled by and think “But God why do they…” and He will remind you lock eyes with Him their path is not your own. Embrace your own journey, be your own biggest fan, take in the scenery and remember He who starts a good work in you will see it to completion.

Hold the vision and trust the process. He will guide when you our lost, comfort when you are weak and rise up when you fall, but that doesn’t mean you’re the only one having those troubling moments. It is more than natural to be human when following Christ, and with that comes human tendencies. Being a follower of Him doesn’t put your whole puzzle together and make life factored correctly step by step, but becoming humble before a God that sees you, at yet still chooses you. He knows your weakness, temptations and flaws and doesn’t condemn you but delivers you. Many of our decisions are based on other people when our decisions should be made for ourselves in prayer and petition. Comparison is a thief of joy, meaning looking to see what we do or don’t have compared to others will always destroy us more in our failure, and make us doubt ourselves in our accomplishment.

Be fearless and confident in what sets your soul on fire regardless of your surroundings, and blossom in your own unique way. Christ carried His cross though a crowd of those who hated Him, yet still kept His eyes locked on the top of the mountain and locked on our destiny in heaven with Him. He did not dwell on the left and right of Him, but on being about His father’s work. So instead of thinking of how you amount up in any way in contrast to those around you, be about and locked in on your father’s work being done in your own life. Your “gains” will never be the same as someone else’s, but that doesn’t make them any less successful or accomplished, it just means you’re trying in all efforts to see God’s will played out. A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.