My personal belief concerning expectations is that they are a combination of personal agendas and outsider-influence.
What do I mean by this? In all honesty, I am unsure how to correctly explain my thinking; it's not a precise formula that popped into my head one day. In fact, it's more of a lurking thought that can't seem to escape my mind and is partially why I am my own worst critique.
With that being said, here is a passage into my jumbled thoughts and chaotic stream of consciousness that accompanies my own struggles concerning expectations. I felt obligated to write something like this because frustration with expectations is a problem for most people.
To Those Who Brave the Struggle,
How does it feel?
Does it wear your body down, like it did mine? I have yet to even spend 20 years on this planet, but my body holds enough damage to tell you the story of a lifetime. Which is why I must teach you. Teach you how to handle the echoing, numbingly loud cries of hatred. They treat you like this because they recognize your strength before you are able to; it's threatening.
Like a virus, hatred festers within the idea of perfection. It's paradoxical. The irony deceives most people, but it won't you. Your pattern of self-loathing will be tempting to fall back into and will follow you wherever you go: social media, magazines, television, even conversation. Understand that this facade is strictly destructive. I was naive; made the mistake of convincing myself that achieving perfection would treat my insecurity. Keep in mind the turbulent power of deception, both good and evil.
Deception's clever trickery will do its best to fool you. It will creep into your mind and work to rewire your brain; you don't think rationally. Family, friends, coaches, teachers, mentors everyone has an equal likelihood of foolishness. While our physical appearances may differ, underneath our skin we share the same worries. It is not their fault, we have collectively let this problem grow.
"You could do better"
"You could be skinnier"
"You could be nicer"
You could be a lot of things. You also could love yourself.
We have let ourselves accept the fate of never being enough. Our own self-doubts and paranoia deteriorate us because we give it the power to do so. Weary minds are the easiest to control. Turning exhaustion into energy takes time and repetition, it is not easily deconstructed.
Start by can no longer permitting passiveness. At others expense, deeply rooted preconceived societal values ruin esteem. Accept the possibility of change, and let it motivate you. Your advantage over others is: you can see clearly.
