August 9th was the start of a new chapter of my life. It was the first time I was going to be living away from my parents and brothers. It was the first time I would have to share my room with another person. It was the first time I would take classes I chose. It was the first time I had the freedom to be me.
I came in knowing it would be hard being away from my mom. We have a close relationship, and I knew even the 45 minute difference would seem like too much. Yet, I never realized how much I relied on her, until I was actually away from her. I learned the hard way that registering for classes is a task from hell, dealing with teacher-student differences is not so easy to navigate without a sidekick and being sick away from home feels like the end of the world. Seriously, I cannot describe how many times those first couple of months I called my mom to complain or cry about this and that. Half the time, I’m sure she had no idea what I was talking about, but it was comforting for her to tell me how proud of me she was. It’s childish, but her encouragement literally got me through the first semester.
Another huge issue that drug my college expectations into the ground was my first roommate. What can I say? I drew the short stick with her. She threw my whole life into disarray just by being there when I was. I know that is harsh. What can I say?
I grew up the only girl with two younger brothers so I was used to my own room. However, our differences were not based solely on that. In fact, I was overly courteous about my space. I let her have the run of the room. A huge mistake for a push-over like me. This prompted her to seek more control. She would bring in her boyfriend at all hours. Her food was everywhere. She never cleaned. It was out of control to the point that I was rarely in my own room. No words could describe the complete uselessness I felt. Nothing seemed to appease her, and my introvert personality would not allow me to go against her. Instead, I would stay in my suite mates’ room. The only thing I never relinquished? The air conditioning unit.
I could not sleep in a room that felt sticky like she could. I would turn on the A/C any chance I could. She began to stay out later and later, so the A/C would be on later and later. It was wonderful. That is until she began to notice the cold. She would arrive early in the morning and take the temperature personally. So much, in fact, that she actually came into the bathroom one morning to demand what I thought I was doing turning on the air behind her back. That was the last straw. We avoided each other at all costs. She began to stay gone longer and longer, until eventually she stopped showing up at all. I was in heaven. Eventually, she got herself kicked. Out of this mess, my suite mates and I are forever bonded by the experience.
My first semester of classes kicked my butt. There’s no way to put it nicely. I never studied in high school—I did not have to. Imagine my surprise when in college that is all you must do. Math was ten times harder than ever before. English, my favorite and most beloved subject, chewed me up and spit me out. My English major seemed so pointless when I was struggling so much in the course. My Psychology major seemed to fit, as my first course opened my eyes to future goals. Everything about what I had been taught in high school came into question as professors taught about bigger ideas and not standardized tests. Professors take their time and do not come off as being forced into teaching a subject. Though the courses proved themselves difficult, I cannot say I have regretted one class. I have experiences and knowledge that has never been available to me before.
I have been able to go beyond what was expected of me. I never thought that I would be hiking in shorts with good friends, but I’ve been four times this year. I’ve traveled to Memphis with a group of strangers organized by the school. I’ve made friends and joined clubs. I’ve been able to creatively write and edit others’ words. I’ve inspired and been inspired. I’ve cried and held someone as they have cried. I’ve made memories and shared memories. I’ve gone above and beyond and just enjoyed being around people that care. I’ve made connections that will help me in the future. I’ve established myself with a hardworking reputation. I’ve felt good in my skin for the first time in such a very long time. I’ve done a lot so far, and it has only been my first year in college.
College is not for everyone. However, college is for me. I may not have been expecting to be slammed on my butt so many times, but I have grown up in these past couple of months. I have gone outside my comfort zone and pushed my own boundaries. Now that it is coming to an end, I have to ask myself: How do you think your first year went? And I have to say, I went beyond my own expectations, both good and bad.
