In March, the whole country shut down. School was online, extra-curriculars were canceled, and I found myself laying in bed all day every day. One day, as I was laying in bed contemplating my laziness, I decided that I wanted to do something to make myself more healthy. I was feeling so down on myself and my laziness so I decided to make a change.
My changes came in waves. At first, I decided to start running after my morning classes. I would wake up, watch my lectures, then go for a run. But I found no joy in running. It was April in South Florida and the humidity was too much. I forced myself to run anyway though, convincing myself that it was the "right thing to do." However, when you aren't enjoying what you're doing, you will never see progress, and it won't make you feel any better. So, I fell off of running and fell back into my pit of wondering what I could do to make this change that I desired.
Then, I found Chloe Ting. Along with everyone else during quarantine, I saw her ab challenge videos, her mystical results, and I decided to give it a try for myself. At first, it was fine, I was sore and I thought that soreness equated to progress. But soon, the videos felt very repetitive. They felt like an obligation that I had to do to look better, rather than a tool in order to feel better and become healthier. I would wake up dreading them but saw no other option as to what I could do, so I kept at it for a while.
I'm not saying that through all of this I saw no results because I did. I watched what I was eating, trying to focus on having healthier meals, and only eating when I was hungry. I saw the results that I wanted, and other people noticed as well and would compliment me on my weight loss.
But despite the gratification that I was receiving, I still didn't love my results, because I was miserable with the workouts that I was doing.
At that point, I realized that I needed to find the workouts that worked for me. Fitness is an extremely personal thing. If we all ate the same, and all did the same exact workouts, we would still all look completely different. So, I started on my mission to find out what worked for me. There are hundreds of different workout videos online, and with my theatre background, I found that I loved the ballet training videos. I found that using weights for my arms and legs made me feel strong and that when I worked on my strength is when I felt the best about myself.
It is not an easy journey to find what works for you. So many times I thought that I had found it, but still wasn't feeling any better. Now that I have found what works for me, I am feeling better than ever before. I workout when I want to, feeling no obligation that I have to. I do the exercises that I want, rather than running because I think that it's the "right" thing to do. There is no right or wrong when it comes to fitness. It is a personal journey, but now that I have found what works for me, and what makes me feel good and healthy, I am so grateful for all that I have learned.
