In just four days, I’ll be standing outside the cathedral of Santa Maria del fiore of Florence in Italy--and I honestly couldn't be more excited.

(Well actually I could be, I’ve tried to suppress my excitement for the past few months. by doing this, time wouldn't feel like it's going by so slow since I know in only a few months, I’ll be traveling to another country--which is something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.)

This trip to Italy will be my first time traveling abroad in general, and I’m feeling a mixed bag of emotions. amongst the excitement, there is nervousness, fear (perhaps this is what I would call it), and a sense of un-predictableness.

The nervousness comes from my mind. in other words, I’ve been making Italy out to be this beautiful, amazing country and I’m worried that it won't be anything like I’ve imagined, pictured, or what I’m expecting. if you ask me, that's stupid. I have these lofty expectations for a place I’ve never been to. which I guess is normal, but I hate having that feeling. I know Italy is going to a beautiful, amazing country either way, I honestly just need to get over myself.

The fear part has sprouted from all the horror stories I’ve heard of people traveling abroad and getting killed or kidnapped. As much wanderlust, I have in my heart/brain, I’m still full of fear. This is my first time out of the country. I’ll be far away from home, and in a country, I don't speak the language. But I’m sure everyone feels like this the first time they go traveling abroad, or to a country they've never been too. I’m just nervous (again!) that this fear will paralyze me from doing what I went to Italy to do--explore, live, and have fun.

The sense of un-predictableness is there anywhere in my life, to be honest lol. I mean, we have no idea what's going to happen day to day. despite a well-planned trip, something small could go wrong that destroys the entire trip. This feeling of un-predictableness ties into the nervousness and fear.

But the last feeling in this big olé' mixed bag of emotions, as I mentioned above, is excitement. I truly can't tell you how excited I am to be traveling abroad and going to Italy. I can't tell you how excited I am to be taking a gondola ride across the grand canal. I can't tell you how excited I am to be seeing a beautiful country like Italy with my mom. spite all the nervousness, fear, and un-predictableness, I know this trip will be an amazing experience I’ll always remember.