My First Christmas Without You

My angel,

As the jolliest of holidays approaches, I feel like the Grinch. From that empty spot at the table, I'm reminded you are not here to open presents under the tree. It makes me not want to face this Christmas at all if you can't be enjoying it with me... with us. The tradition of Christmas feels hopelessly shattered without you at our family feast, without your comforting hugs and sweet kisses, without your presence during what's supposed to be the happiest time of the year. I miss your warmth so much in this chilling weather. This time is indeed now a little less merry and bright.

Though you are physically gone, I must cherish my remaining time with those who are thankfully still a part of this special day. I know you would want me to. That's what Christmas is all about. Though this holiday may never be the same without the ones you love, when one tradition ends another one begins. That doesn't mean you'll ever be forgotten, because I'll infinitely keep your memory in my heart not only this Christmas, but everyday of the year. I'm confident you're okay up there, celebrating his decked out birthday party with Jesus himself. I'm confident you're not alone, surrounded by the plethora of angels spending their Christmases far away from home as well. And I'm confident you're at peace, which helps me to get through this first Christmas without you.

Merry Christmas in Heaven.

Love always and forever,

Someone who misses you so so much

In Memory Of Jude, Frances Marciante, Louie, and Eric Provost.

"The Christmas holiday was when some of my most cherished memories took place growing up. I can say this because my Grandma was always there. I can still hear your jovial voice as you walked into our home with a car full of goodies behind you. I know you will be there at Christmas mass, snickering (loudly) that you cannot understand a word that the priest is saying. I know you will be watching over us as we make our traditional Christmas lasagna, and I know you couldn’t be more proud of your daughter, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You are always on our mind and forever in our hearts, especially this Christmas." -Mariel

"I'm sorry that I lost touch with you over this past year. I regret it everyday. I want you to know I love you bro, and I'll see you soon." -Matthew

"My Dearest Louie, Christmas is upon us and we are without you. It's so hard to think you will not be here, as I'm not into shopping, cooking, decorating. Your little girl Cassey and I are just wanting to skip it. So Joey decided to take on your tradition to keep making tamales. Him and Jessie set it up. Saysha made snacks. Elaine even came and made a couple then it got too emotional for her and she left. Chris even sat with us for awhile. Your grand-babies were playing. And your little linebacker wants his hair long. Baby, I hope you see how much you touched their lives. Just know, my love, you are missed deeply. Thank you for coming to us all in our dreams at different times. I will save you a seat. Merry Christmas king of my heart. Your queen always, Irene"