The first thought that comes to my mind when I think of the term father is someone that is a pillar for various things. A pillar for strength. A pillar for emotional support. A pillar for necessary discipline. However, when I think about my own father the complete opposite comes to mind.
Instead, the words irresponsible, unsupportive, and a flake come to mind. When you make the decision to participate in an act that could result in the birth of a life, it's now your responsibility to make sure that life is lived to the fullest; refusing to send child support once a month is not doing that. Stepping up, being a man, and fathering your child is. Your sperm donation is greatly appreciated, but that does not earn you the title of "father" by any means.
It was my birthday weekend. He promised me he would come to pick me up and take me shopping. I remember sitting by the living room window for hours and hours just waiting and being excited at the sight of every car I saw coming down the road. The sun slowly began to set behind the trees while my hope quickly diminished right with it. He never came. I remember us driving to a strangers house in the middle of the night and him dropping me off and leaving me all by myself.
I remember spending the night in a jail waiting room because he got caught drinking and driving with me in the car. I remember hanging onto my grandpa's leg screaming for him not to let them take me. I remember calling my mama in the middle of the night begging her to come to get me. Most importantly, I remember the day he gave up his parental rights. At the time, I had no idea that would be the best thing to ever happen to me.
A child should not have to worry about where they will lay their head down at night. A child should not have to experience being put into the back of a police car at such a young age because their parents are irresponsible. A child should not have to feel uncomfortable around their parents' friends. Most importantly a child should never have to question if their parents love them.
Luckily, the day my father gave up his parental rights and I was adopted by my grandparents my life turned around for the good. I no longer questioned if I was loved by my parents because my new parents (grandparents) loved me and continue to love me more than anything on this earth. I started making straight A's, playing a sport, and I was always in good hands.
I can't deny the fact that he played a part in the creation of my life, but as far as I and many others are concerned my grandfather is my father. This person that just got me on the weekends wasn't my father. He possessed no qualities of a father. He was simply a sperm donor.
I am not writing this to bash him or his current family. I could not be more thankful he gave me up so easily. I have no hard feelings toward him anymore, and I hope he has grown into the man for his current family that he failed to be for me. I have succeeded without him for the past 9 years and will continue to thrive without his mere presence in my life.
