After a long stressful semester, I was excited to be back home. I missed my family terribly. For anybody who knows me, it's nothing new that I have not been coping with living far away from home. I learned to adjust as I reminded myself why stepping out my comfort zone was worth it but necessarily wasn't easy. Somehow I managed.
Nevertheless, I waited patiently for my departure and soon as I stepped foot into my house, my soul relaxed which is never odd when surrounded by people who love you. I already anticipated what to expect when I came for winter break. My mother had outdone herself when she cooked my favorite meal - salmon with rice and beans. Not to mention the special treatment I received throughout break where I became spoiled. Sue me, I enjoy the attention, especially when I get my hugs and kisses from my niece. Just as much I receive the love, I give it back. I rubbed my dog's belly for a little while longer and even hugged my older sister Diandra. Although I want to keep the pretense that I cannot stand my older sibling, I will admit I miss her just much as I miss everyone.
Everything was good until I noticed everything was slowly changing. It's funny how I grew up around a 'big ratchet' family that I feel alone most of the time. I guess the selfish part of me wanted everyone's attention yet reluctantly accept that they have responsibilities, careers, and significant others to tend to. I didn't want to interrupt. So in order not to bother anyone I remained isolated in my little cocoon and minded my business for once. I didn't go out, I didn't socialize, and I felt I lost my sense of belonging. My family was so busy I couldn't help but feel that they forgot about me. Such a depressing thought before Christmas.
My mom instantly knew what was wrong as soon I as she looked at me. Like any rational parent, she worries about my morbid attitude. My mom can't help but be very persistent in getting me to spill my guts when I'm troubled about something. As always I make it difficult and say "I'm Fine" even though I am not. It wasn't her job to fix my attitude except me. So under her warm brown gaze, she asks me "What do I want for Christmas?" I hesitated a bit. I wanted something that cannot be bought. Instead, I said, "I didn't want anything." My mom nodded and decide to let it go for now. I knew it wouldn't be much longer before I cracked.
Come Christmas morning I wake up to my twin shaking me out of my sleep and rushing me to the tree. My mother, sisters, and niece were together in the living room waiting for me, as I stepped forward and cherished the moment as we exchanged gifts. It wasn't until I was wrestling with my twin, arguing with my niece and teasing my older sister about her obsession with Herbalife Tea and my mother rubbing her temples to avoid a headache....that I miss the noise.
