Any individual who has pledged themselves to a Greek organization should know how much those few letters can mean to someone. This is especially true in sororities where the young woman has found a real home and a group of true and constant friends. Sometimes the stars don't align just the right way and a decision that will absolutely break your heart has to be made... You have to make the decision to go inactive.
Flashback to the first weekend of my freshman year... I had just moved into my first dorm, met my roommates, made a couple friends, and bought all my books. I was ready to tackle this whole college thing head on! I figured since I was the first woman in my family to go to college, I might as well give every college experience a shot, so I signed up for recruitment. Long story short, I surprised myself over the next two weekends and ended up pledging my heart to the most amazing group of women I have ever met. I had found my one true home. Nothing can possibly go wrong, I am the happiest I've ever been. The only issue is that sometimes the things that we want to do aren't as important as the things we need to do.
So here we are. I am going through my first semester in the sorority, anxiously awaiting initiation and the beautiful moment when I can finally call myself a sister. During my new member period, I spent time learning all the luminous history of my sisterhood: the founders, the symbols, our chapters, our values. Day by day, I found myself falling more and more in love with the letters I chose. In the midst of my newfound knowledge and appreciation of my letters, I began failing my classes. Luckily, I realized this soon enough to pull the grades up to passing, but still, what honor graduate fails her general education courses?! So, second semester comes around and I am determined to spend more time on my coursework, but alas, plans never come to fruition, especially not the good ones. Somehow, despite my "best" efforts, I still managed to put my sorority above my studies and ended up needing to retake two of my courses, so here I am now. I am at the point of a major decision.
Knowing that I have this huge decision to make, I take the summer to do some serious soul-searching, time-arranging, internal-dialoging, and plenty of crying. I have to make the decision of whether I want to stay active in my sorority. Like I said earlier, plans never come to fruition. That maintains its truth. Amazingly, when you leave the plans up to fate, things fall into place. Over this summer, I found a job, I landed two internships, one of which allowed me to change my status to non-residential, allowing me to maintain my membership. I organized my life, I cleansed my soul, and I found myself in a really happy place.
I am regretful and saddened that I wasn't there to help my sisters find our beautiful new pledge class. I am heartbroken that I won't be able to welcome these beautiful sisters into our world firsthand but in spirit I will be. If I have any faith in my sorority, and trust me, I have a lot, I can trust that come Spring 2016, they will welcome me back with open arms. When I return, I will be a stronger, more complete woman who will be capable of offering so much more to the incredible sisterhood I call my own.
I am glad I made the decision to go inactive. The best decisions are often the hardest.
