You Aren't The Only One With Voices In Your Head
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Voices In My Head Consistently Give Me Hell, But I'm Learning To Work Through It

Why am I my own worst enemy?

1062
The Voices In My Head Consistently Give Me Hell, But I'm Learning To Work Through It

My brain's constant negativity has been creating hardships for me over the course of my young adult life. Since moving to college, the voices have only become louder. I can't say I've gotten used to them, but I am learning to live with them. What else are you supposed to do?

1. "Are they looking at me? Am I not blending?" 

During my first days in my new city, all I wanted to do was blend in. I woke up and looked in the mirror. I was faced with the task of doing my hair, but not looking like I tried too hard. I had to do my makeup so I would be pretty, but not so much that it looked like I was wearing too much. Then came the outfit. The subtle difference between not showing enough skin and showing too much, or dressing up and looking like I don't care about my appearance. My brain never stopped asking, "are they looking at me?"

2. "Why are you so picky? They probably think you are weird." 

After I got ready, it was time to get food. Getting on the elevator, I hope that I am joined by no one. I get to the cafeteria and stand in line. I try to stand straight, but not like I am overly confident. As I approach the food, I notice I want my pasta plain. "If you do that they will think you are weird," my brain tells me, so I get the sauce. I even add the identical sides to the boy in front of me, to ensure normalcy. I take my food back to my room, set it aside, and make a peanut butter sandwich instead.

3. "You shouldn't go in there, you would embarrass yourself."

After a while of sitting in my room, I want to get a workout in. I grab headphones, to help me avoid any confrontation, and my water bottle. I walk towards the gym and look into the big glass walls. "You shouldn't go in there, you would embarrass yourself," my brain tells me. Instead, I walk to my car and drive to a trail where I can run, alone, and away from everyone.

4. "Do they actually need me, or do they just need me for now?"

When I get back, I get a call from a friend, at least I think they are my friend. I can't tell if they talk to me because they need help, or because they genuinely want to. I have been a crutch before, and once you are done with those you get rid of them. "He won't need you once he finds other help." This thought holds me back from trusting. I can't become too close, or they will leave, they always do.

5. "Just go to sleep." 

I change into my sweats and lay down in my bed when I feel that there is nothing else I can do. After an exhausting day of constant confrontations with my personal devil, all I want is sleep. Closing my eyes, I try to complete the chapter that I call my day. My mind keeps going, but after a while, its yells turn to whispers and I am finally at rest.

If your mind talks to you, in the ways mine do, remember you are not alone. The things you are self-conscious about, others are too. Living with the devil on your shoulder is not easy, but with enough willpower, we can all get through it.

Report this Content
Featured

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

708
6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

1847
Kinder Self - Eyes
Pexels

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

22348
Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

2678
21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less
Politics

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

5097
inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments