I do everything with this man, and I adore him for picking me to take those crazy adventures with.
I like learning new things about him, especially the times you wouldn't expect to learn. I enjoy seeing his eyebrows crinkle together when he's confused by something I said, and then watching him repeat it back to himself as he tries to figure the meaning of it out.
I don't know what it would be like to not sleep in bed next to him from here on out.
I've memorized his breathing, and I find comfort in falling asleep listening to his heart beat rhythmically in his chest.
All of these things remind me each and every day what an important part of my life he really is, but not for one second do I confuse that with my whole world.
The second you designate one person as the point of your existence, the less joy you'll find in the world around you. I can't imagine saying that ONE person was the reason for my happiness. I have a huge family, all of them manage to remind me of multiple means of happiness to this chaotic, yet purposeful life.
We aim for relationships like Noah and Allie's, where the thought of not being with one another for just a second of the day is enough to make you lose what's left of your mind, but I never want that. I don't want to have a relationship where I start to lose sight of the beautiful things around me because I'm too fixated on one soul.
That's not to say I don't appreciate how well our lives balance each other's out. I don't love him any less than the girl who claims her boyfriend is her entire world and the reason for her existence. I just see things more realistically than those people, and that's the way I've always been.
When I'm in the middle of nowhere, driving with my windows down, hair blowing everywhere, and music on full blast, I don't occupy my mind by dwelling on the fact my boyfriend isn't riding shotgun with me. Instead, I envision myself running freely, breathing in the air, enjoying the peace and quiet, and actually living my life through my own eyes, which was exactly the way God intended it be in my opinion.
The trick about life is that even when you feel like one thing, person, or place is the reason for why you wake up each morning and go to bed at night... They're not. If you try and convince yourself of this you'll only have a harder time coming to terms with reality if it ever ends.
The thing is... Everything ends eventually.
Your relationship has the possibility of ending, you could get fired from your job, lose your money, die tomorrow, or lose every belonging you have in a fire, so no, I won't ever give any of those things the individual satisfaction of claiming my entire happiness.
If I lose one of those things, I have another to fall back on, and that's what makes life bearable.
No one will ever be my whole world, and I hope for their sake, I'm never theirs either.
Why?
Because I don't want to be. Not only do you start to obsess over this one thing, but it begins to be the reason you're in a pissed off mood the next morning or a great one. So you didn't get a good morning text from your whole world, well you did get a bagel with cream cheese while sipping on some orange juice, and I think that's pretty damn special.
Take it from someone who has made a boy their whole world before, when/if you lose him, your life may change in a way you never anticipated or wanted. As soon as you start to come to terms with the fact that you're better off embracing the world for all it's able to give you, and not just one thing, I think you may both just be happier.
I know I was.
