Recently, while at work, which means I get paid to have good customer service and to have a large smile on my face, I was approached by an older man. He was perhaps 50 years old and he proceeds to comment that my name is the same as his daughter, who apparently is my age. In the same breath it took to tell me this information, he asked me to dinner. I was told I was very beautiful and that he could make me very happy. When I was walking around, he never took his eyes off me. I am 18 years old, and I have anxiety. My first response is to tell him very politely that I have a boyfriend and he wouldn't like the idea of this stranger taking me to dinner.
But now that I am no longer in the situation, I started thinking that I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at work. What happened, though it was nonviolent and for that I am so thankful, should not have happened. Places of work at the very least, should be safe spaces. I am working. Therefore, part of my job is to be polite. My smiles are not hidden messages. My laughter is not an invitation and the fact that you take it that way is wrong. I promise you, I am not into you and neither is any other person you've tried it on.
I am young and naive, but I have a right to be comfortable in my surroundings. I shouldn't have to tell you that I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't have to duck into the back to hide from you. I shouldn't be afraid of leaving the counter I stand behind, and when I do, I shouldn't be checking behind me, praying you aren't looking and hoping you don't follow me. I shouldn't have to repeatedly say I don't want your phone number or give you a fake number just to get you to go away.
I have a right to be safe. When you encroach upon my safety, there is a problem. I want to feel safe in my place of work. When I fear leaving the line of sight of my supervisor, there is a problem. And I know that there will be some that will tell me that I should just be honest and tell you upfront that I am not interested, however, when I tell you that, you need to be accepting of my answer.
By harassing and cat calling, you are not being charming. You are terrifying. When I hear the comments that follow me, I don't feel empowered, nor do I feel 'sexy' or 'beautiful' as the harasser seems to think it does. I feel dirty, like I'm a piece of meat you judge at the supermarket before you buy it. I feel small and sometimes worthless, especially when the comments go along the lines of 'she has a fat ass' or 'I wish her shirt was lower, so I could actually see her rack.' I am NOT a price you win. I am NOT a sight to be stared at. And I am not weak or fragile like you seem to think I am. I am strong and I don't need you to make shallow compliments that you think will make me want to be with you. I am better than what you are trying to get. My body is my safe space and I don't remember inviting you.
