It has always been a thing and it has always been an issue. I've been experiencing this type of behavior for a long time, but now it's time that I talk about it to more than just my closest friends. Now it's time for me to speak up. Note that this is strictly my personal experience, but I guarantee that that does not limit what I am saying. This article is a way to glimpse into what objectifying behavior can look like if you don't have a lot of personal experience with it. I'm not saying objectifying behavior is limited to men toward women, but this article leans towards my own biases because of my personal experiences.
My body is not an object for male pleasure and I'm sick of being treated like it is.
What's even worse is that this type of behavior toward me is not limited to strangers. People I know, people I've had classes with, people with whom I thought were my friends have acted this way toward me. It's cringe-worthy. It's humiliating. It's belittling. We are worth more than our bodies. We live in a society that has taught men that it's okay to disrespect women and their bodies and it's time for this behavior to stop.
If I walk down a sidewalk by myself--or with my female friends--it is not rare for men to catcall us. They howl at us, whistle, honk their horns and yell out their car windows to get our attention. I'm not sure why men think that we will somehow respond to them positively when they do this. It's infuriating and makes me feel self-conscious--like all of a sudden there is a massive spotlight on me that I can't escape from.
I have been in the middle of a conversation with a guy when one of his friends walked up and spoke about my physical body to the person I was talking to without ever talking directly to me--never acknowledging me as being a human. He stared me up and down and picked out physical features to point out to his friend. I felt like I was under a microscope, being visually torn apart for a display. I took myself out of that situation frantically, not liking that I felt exposed with a full body of clothes on. It was scornful and grossly uncomfortable.
Someone with whom I thought was one of my best friends in high school asked one of our mutual guy friends if he'd be mad if "she was next," because he wanted to "bang" me--a four year friendship instantly being questioned for what his ultimate intentions were. I guess I knew within that moment though, didn't I? He spoke of me like a worthless person that could be easily tossed aside after he had gotten what he wanted, and ever since then I have had difficulty trusting him--or trusting a lot of guys that I consider to be close friends, because I thought I could trust this person with my life. Feeling like I was essentially manipulated and disrespected for so long was so painful and humiliating. I trusted him.
As I progressed further and further into this period of my life where my physical appearance started attracting the wandering eyes of strangers, peers, and friends, I usually tried to brush catcalls and other instances of objectifying behavior to the side. I used to just fully accept that things like this would probably happen--that they were typical and wouldn't surprise me when they came up. Sitting here writing this, it is sad to think that there was a point in my life that I had simply accepted horribly disrespectful behavior toward me.
When I experience this type of behavior today, it usually momentarily brings me to an incredibly low point. At one second I'm infuriated with the discourtesy of this behavior, but then a few minutes after that I feel terribly self-conscious. If I'm at a social gathering and something like the event described above occurs, it usually makes me nervous to stay at the event because I don't know if he will continue this uncomfortable behavior--it's not something I like to be around. I don't want to put myself in a situation that could allow for this to happen, because it makes me feel worthless--momentarily dried of purpose because in that one moment, my body is the only thing that matters to the person trying to get my attention.
