I don’t remember when my hair first fell out. I just remember the screaming and tears that ensued when I realized I had a bald spot on the back of my head. It took my doctor little to no time to diagnose me with Alopecia Areata, an autoimmune disorder in which your immune system attacks your hair follicles, causing your hair to fall out in small circular patches. Thankfully, that is all it does. This disease is physically painless and normally does not result in other health problems. Unfortunately, Alopecia currently has no cure. The only treatments doctors give are prefaced with, “This might work.” I have tried almost all of the treatments, but they normally do more harm than good. I may not be able to cure my disease, but in some ways, I am grateful for it. Without it, I would not have learned several essential life lessons.
The first lesson was that I take so many things for granted. Before I developed Alopecia, I had never realized how much I would miss simple things like my hair until they were gone. I thought hair was just hair. It was such a small thing that I would never expect for it to be taken away from me. We assume that, because we have something in the present, we will always have it. This is most definitely untrue. The world is an ever-changing place, and we are changing with it.
The second lesson I learned was that your outward appearance does not define your beauty. At first, I did not think anyone would consider me beautiful ever again, especially as more and more of my hair fell out. When I told my friends about my Alopecia, they were all quick to say that I would always be beautiful in their eyes. Yet, I didn’t believe them. I tried my best to cover my Alopecia up, but then one day I didn’t. I just stopped caring. So what if everyone saw my spots? It was what made me different from everyone else. It was my idea of beauty that mattered, and no one else’s thoughts should be able to control how I think of myself.
The third takeaway I had was there are a lot of things that are out of our control. It’s completely normal to feel helpless when bad things happen. I know now that I did nothing to make this happen to me. It was just the way I was born. When faced with situations like this, I have learned to focus on the positives and try not to see myself as the victim. Reinhold Niebuhr’s "Serenity Prayer" has a lot of meaning to me when it comes to things that are out of our control even though I do not consider myself to be religious in slightest.
The prayer says, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” Basically, this is saying that we should not get hung up on things we cannot change because while doing so, we are only prolonging the negative feelings. Instead, it suggests that our strength as people is not defined by our circumstances but by what we do with them. When you can’t control the problem, the only thing that matters is your reaction.
I have had this condition for the past year, and I will continue to have it for the rest of my life. In fact, this month marks the one year mark of my diagnosis. Until last year, I had no idea what Alopecia was. I would never wish for anyone to have this condition, but I remain grateful for the lessons it has taught me. I genuinely believe that because of my condition, I have become a more loving and accepting person.
