My Adoption & Me

My Adoption & Me

I wouldn’t change my life or how I came to my family for anything
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So often when people talk about adoption there is a negative undertone, like there is something wrong with being adopted or something to be sad about. However my adoption has always been a part of my life and something that my parents always made me feel comfortable with. I can never actually think of a time where I didn’t know I was adopted, I just always knew I was.

I believe that always knowing that I was adopted has been a being part in why I have always been so comfortable with it, it has just always been a part of who I am. However, just like anything in life there will always be people who see it differently than you do, probably just because they’ve never been in your shoes. So just to clarify a few things about how I feel about my adoption,

I am not mad at my birth mother.

If she didn’t make the decision she did to have me and put me up for adoption, I wouldn’t have my amazing family and friends and all of the incredible experiences I’ve had up to now. How could I possibly be anything but grateful to the woman who love and cared about me enough to want to give me the best life possible? Which she did.

My parents are and always will be the two incredible people who raised me.

While my birth mother might have brought me into this world, my parents have given me the world. There are and could never be enough words to describe how grateful I am that they are mine.

Adoption isn’t an insult.

So many times I have been around people who use “You’re Adopted” as an insult, and sadly they don’t realize how ridiculous they sound. People wait for years and years to adopt children and there are so many more people involved than just them. Everyone has choices today and birth mothers choose to have their babies. Adoption has nothing to do with being unwanted. Not only are you wanted by your adoptive parents, your birth mother wants you. Personally, I’ll never understand the “insult” behind adoption.

My Adoption is a Part of Who I am.

While I have been with my family since I was born, I have been fortunate enough to always know that I have been adopted and never made feel that this was something that I needed to hide or wasn’t important. I will always consider my adoption my biggest blessing because it has made me who I am, and it has given me the most important people in my life.

Being adopted has not only brought me my family, and friends but it has also given me an incredible bond with others who are also adopted. If there was one thing that I would want my birth mother to know it’s that I am so thankful to her for wanting me, and somehow finding the two other people in the world who wanted me more than anything. I wouldn’t change my life or how I came to my family for anything and I am so thankful for every experience, opportunity and person that my adoption has given me.

Cover Image Credit: Author's Photo

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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What Rescuing a Dog Taught Me About My Future

She was a real pain to begin with, but I wouldn't give her up for the world now.

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My first dog came from a breeder to us when he was just a puppy. I was in third grade so we were both young together. I remember stepping off of the bus and seeing him curled up in my mom's arms. His breed, a Cavalier King Charles, is a highly sought after dog for their small size and beautiful markings. However, dog breeding can lead to medical complications down the line. Heart murmurs are very frequent as cavaliers get older. When he turned 9 years old, they were already detecting the beginning of a heart murmur in him. But my second dog didn't come to us in quite the same way.

Willow was about a year old. She was rescued from an abusive home where she had to fight for her food from many other dogs. This made her guard resources and distrustful of us. My mom and I begged the rest of our family for the ability to adopt her, and they finally agreed. Being not potty trained, we had to teach her with a lot of positive encouragement when she went pee in the right place (not our carpet). It took her a while to realize that we weren't going to take her food away and she gradually became less resource guarding. She started to trust my other dog more and play with him. A lot of the time, they even snuggle together now.

At the time, I was in my junior year of high school and still thinking about the idea of becoming a veterinarian. She helped me decide to go for it, and now I'm in college and getting ready to apply for veterinary school. Willow has become part of our family, and her funny and unique personality fit right in with us.

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