As the end of this spring semester approaches, hints of high school and college graduation begin to creep onto the scene. Seniors buzz in anticipation, though classes just seem to drag on. Congrats Class of 2016 cards, mugs, napkins, hats, banners, plates, and even sign-able stuffed animals appear on the market. Graduation announcements are sent and received in the mail, and graduation party plans are underway.

This isn’t my year, though, so I ignore the hustle and try to carry on as usual. I can’t help but be a little nostalgic of my own high school graduation, though. I still have my sign-able stuffed animal, a white puppy painted with all my friends’ signatures in colorful ink. On his cute head sits a puppy-sized graduation cap with yellow letters saying, Class of 2012. Then it hits me: 2016-2012 is 4. That’s four years. Have I really been out of high school for that long?

The thought grounds me. When did this happen? How did this happen? Of course, these are very typical thoughts of a young adult. Then, I think back over the last four years. Countless adventures flash through my mind, experiences of all kinds and the dearest of friends. Next, I think back to my four years in high school. There is no flash this time. Instead, memories of a life not lived to its fullest bring a frown to my face.

High school was not horrible, but it was not great either. The daily humdrum was tedious and draining. I remember waking up at 6 a.m. for school, getting out at 3 p.m., attending extracurricular-resume-building activities until 9 p.m., and then finally going to bed at 2 a.m. after I got my homework done. I had a handful of friends, but with our schedules not matching, I spent most of the days alone, reading or listening to music to pass the time. My few friends and I didn’t do much outside of school together, either. For fun I watched a lot of TV and slept.

It was nothing like the country songs, Disney movies, or even my parents lead me to believe. The whole time I felt like I was missing out on something. It was four years of droll, mind-numbing work and loneliness sprinkled with the occasional social activity, but nothing worthy of being called an adventure. It was a life not lived to its fullest.

Things started to look up when I became a senior. I “adopted” a whole herd of freshman and other people who were lonely like me. Our troop of misfits hung out in the library every morning before class and sat together at lunch. I had people to talk to, so I closed my books and pulled out my ear phones. Life wasn’t so bad anymore. Come graduation time, I was angry that I had to leave. I had finally figured out how to be happy in high school, how to not be miserable and alone. Now I had to leave and start over somewhere else?! What the heck?!

That last semester of high school was nothing compared to the next four years of my life. I went on to college. I was still going through a busy routine and not sleeping enough, but it was intrinsically rewarding. I was never truly alone, and even in my least favorite classes I had at least one person to talk with. Besides classroom-acquaintances, I found friends, the truly awesome kind, who laughed with me on my best days and took care of me on my worst. Every day was an adventure. This is what I had been longing for in high school. This was me living my life to the fullest.

I snap back to the present and smile. Life right now is good, and although I would like to be graduating too, I will just take my time and enjoy myself. Who knows what the next four years will bring? Life is constant change. What I do know is that the four years after high school have made up for the four years in high school.