1. You know the quickest routes to each food establishment around the theater.
There are only 15 minutes between curtain call and call time for the next performance. On your mark, get set, GO!
2. You know the green room will probably never be green.
And you will have to explain that to every single one of your family members who are brought through this room.
3. You know that duct tape can fix almost anything.
Set piece broke during a show? Duct tape. Your character shoe fell apart right before your big number? Duct tape. You keep slipping around stage? Duct tape.
4. You know you can get out of any plan by using, “I can’t, I have rehearsal.”
This works better than, “My mom says I can’t play.”
5. You know not to volunteer your phone for music because you have more musical theater music than pop, rap, or indie combined.
Is it normal to have 30 different songs titled “Finale”?
6. You know that your guy friends can do your makeup better than you can.
Face it, his eyeliner is straighter than he will ever be.
7. You know to never cross a costumer.
Just don’t ever complain. Ever.
8. You know to how to balance better than an Olympic gymnast.
The choreographer thinks it would be fun to have everyone do 10 eight-counts of high kicks on six-inch steps in heels.
9. You know that chanting, “5, 6, 7, 8” can make any activity more legitimate.
Your inner dance captain just comes out when those magic words are muttered.
10. You know that the show can change drastically the night before opening night.
Oh, yeah, let's just completely re-choreograph the biggest number in the show less than 24 hours before the curtain rises. Totally normal.
11. You know to just ignore the stares when you go to dinner after a show.
Why can’t the staff at Denny’s understand that bright pink blush, fake eyelashes, and a wig cap are normal at 11 p.m.? Move on.
12. You know not to talk backstage.
The stage manager can just give you a look that could kill a baby deer.
13. You know that you will be on that stage unless you are actually dying.
Passed out onstage? Fine. Running offstage to puke? OK. Calling in sick? Not acceptable.
14. You know how to give a presentation at school or work like nobody’s business.
Never once has anyone told you to project your voice. You practically write a play for each history lesson.
15. You know how to stare into stage lights and flashing cameras but God-forbid you forget your sunglasses at the beach.
You just know that you’ll be great at being famous.
16. You know to keep clear nail polish and hairspray with you at all times just in case your tights run.
You have more in your bag than a toddler in a tiara.
17. You know what to do when someone shouts, “LEVELS.”
Everyone tends to drop to the ground.
18. You know the anxiety that comes with waiting for the cast list.
It's worse than Christmas Eve.
19. You know that enough hairspray can hold against the strongest tornadoes.
That stuff is stronger than cement.
20. You know how to memorize lines better than your social security number.
You don’t remember how to do the Pythagorean theorem, but you know every line of "Hamlet."
21. You could get away with murder because hot glue and curlers have burned off your fingertips.
You have lost the ability to feel all the pains that heat brings you.
22. When you can’t remember where you got over 50 percent of your bruises and scars.
Oh yeah, I think that scar is from when I fell off the set in “Oliver.”
23. You know that no one is trying to get to second base; they’re just to get off stage before the lights come up.
Your breasts are just a handle for people to grab before their eyes adjust to the blackout.
24. You know that having a microphone is a blessing and a curse.
You feel so important, but then you remember that you have to sing the harmonies and not talk in the dressing room.
25. You know that the Tony Awards is bigger than Christmas.
Neil Patrick Harris hosting an entire night of Broadway themed awards. What could be better.




















