I'd just like to start this article off by saying that if you're here to read about the kind of contractions that happen during birth, you have come to the wrong place. This is about the grammar kind of contractions, because I'd like to propose a new rule.
I can't take credit for the creation of this idea, but I will support it full blast. The idea is for multiple contractions in writing. We already use them all the time when we speak, whether we realize it or not.
In case you've forgotten since elementary school (which is totally acceptable, by the way. This article was almost titled "Multiple Conjunctions And Why They Should Be A Thing." I know, I know.), a contraction is where you smush two words together, eliminate a letter or two, and throw in an apostrophe to take their place. It's how we turn "can not" into "can't," and all that jazz.
The multiple contraction is the same thing, except that instead of combining two words, you combine three or even four. We do this all the time when we talk. For example, I say "shouldn't've" at least once a day.
It's mostly used to combine a past-tense positive statement (should've) and a future- or present-tense negative statement (shouldn't) to create a past-tense negative: shouldn't've, wouldn't've, couldn't've, etc.
It has more uses than just those, though. There's "you'd've" (you would have), "won't've" (will not have), and plenty of others. But my personal favorite example is "y'all'd've" -- "you all would have." It may be more familiar to Southerners, for whom "y'all" is a basic building block of vocabulary. Regardless, it could be used by anyone. Also, there's a weird sort of beauty that goes with the three apostrophes.
I haven't found a single reason why we shouldn't make the multiple contractions a thing in the eyes of the grammar gods. The only people I would imagine to be opposed to this are grammar purists, but let's be real here, language changes all the time, which is part of its beauty,
Look, if we can make "selfie" and "manspreading" official, Webster's Dictionary words, we can make the multiple contraction an official rule. So whoever's in charge of the rules of the English language, get on this, please. I wouldn't've written this article if I didn't feel strongly about this.
