Now a days it seems like we live in a world where side chicks, f*ckboys, and hookup culture is the new normal. Unfortunately, this means for many of us that cheating in relationships is an all too common reality that many of us are forced to encounter. If you are one of the humans who have had the displeasure of having been cheated on, know this; you are not alone.

There are few experiences more heart shattering than lying alone at 3 a.m. screaming and crying into a pillow wishing above all, that this wouldn’t be happening to you. After all, seems pretty heartless right? The person, who claimed to love you above all, has betrayed you. You’ve been lied to and you can feel nothing other than the hurt that comes with being deceived. You feel sick at the thought of him with her and can’t seem to move past it or even get the image out of your head.

I am no expert in love, nor do I claim to be. However, what I have been taught growing up and what experience leads me to believe, is that love is selfless and kind. Love involves sacrifice and honesty. Too many relationships fail because one or both members of the relationship fail to realize that love will not always be easy! Too often the excuse for cheating is, “well the relationship wasn’t going well anyway, we had a lot of problems.” I guess someone failed to mention to our cheating counterparts that no one is forcing them into the relationship; they always had the choice to leave. For so many people who cheat the issue is often comfort. Know this, you deserve to be more than someone’s safety net.

To those who have been the cheating significant other in past or present relationships, know this. Yes, they will get over it. They will move on and perhaps even better themselves and become stronger than you left them. Nevertheless, you have still scarred them. Future relationships will be tainted with fleeting thoughts of self-worthlessness, distrust, and often vulnerability. I hope you will take the time to mature before deciding to involve yourself again.

To my friends who have been deceived and find themselves screaming into tear stained and mascara ruined pillows, you are not a pathetic person for loving them. In fact, you are an incredibly strong soul whose heart has the ability to love time and time again. You are resilient and tremendously tough. Moreover, if you have the strength to move on and never look back, more power to you! However, if you are considering allowing this person back into your life in an attempt to regain your trust, you are not a terrible or foolish person. There is great strength in forgiveness and at the end of the day, the decision to move on or try again is truly yours and shouldn’t be influenced by outside sources. In the mean time, chin up my friend, one day there will be more to your story than the boy who broke your heart.