Moving On: My freshman year has been amazing. I've met the perfect group of friends who are willing to have wine nights, beer pong matches, 3 a.m. Calio's, sappy-cuddly movie sessions and everything in between.
I have gotten involved in multiple organizations and was given a voice to express myself as a writer, had plenty of exciting and rewarding experiences and learned how strong I truly am. I've grown so much within these past 10 months — it's true, what they say — being away from home really does test you, and I am proud to say I passed with flying colors.
I write this fresh off of heartbreak, preparing for finals and bidding my new best friends goodbye one-by-one. I am hurting, my heart may be broken, but all the love and life left in it is still here. I couldn't be more thankful for the people in my life who have been there for me, ready to pick me up when I fall, who have let me cry on their shoulder (whether school stress or boy troubles) and who are always down to have a good time and take my mind off any stress that may upset me.
It will be hard not seeing you guys every day, but I know the group chat will still be popping, we'll share all of our summer memories/nights out and yes, we will make the schlep to visit each other (as soon as I finish my finals, that is).
Heartbreak: As for the second theme of this article, heartbreak. A term I am not all too familiar with, but am definitely feeling right now. My heart aches as I try to push aside my feelings and wipe away my tears, attempting to study for my upcoming exams (3).
Although I hate to admit it, but the way you have been treating me the past few days is disgusting. I should be angry — I am (somewhat) angry, but I am grieving (in fact, my friends just encouraged me to throw out your shirt, but it was definitely hard for me to do).
The mornings are always the worst; it's when my mind drifts off into the near future, thinking about previously scheduled activities we were supposed to do together, movies we planned on watching and so on. I think about what we'd be doing at this exact moment together. I think about how you're feeling, if you're as sad as I am and long to crawl into bed and cuddle together. Sure, for now, it'll hurt to listen to the same songs we listened to, watch the shows we watched and do the things we did, without you. Currently, my thoughts are swirling inside my head, my body aches and I am both physically and emotionally drained and confused from the past few days. I have genuinely enjoyed our time together. Although I am hurt and sad that what we had is nothing but a memory, but I will get through this, with the loving support of my friends and family. When I look back, I will try and remember the good- the happiness, the laughter and the memories.And, who knows what'll happen in the future after summer vacation? Perhaps one day, things will be different than they are right now and issues will be sorted out; I'm not a fortune-teller.
Looking Forward: In the meantime, I will study hard for finals and look forward to enjoying my summer. I have an exciting internship lined up for me and friends and family waiting to hug me and spend time with me.
And that's exactly what I'll do.
Closing Words: 'Cuse, you have been really good to me. Although right now sucks, this too shall pass, and I look forward to an amazing, fun-filled summer with people who love and care about me, and returning to campus rejuvenated and hopeful.
