We've all known someone who is emotionally manipulative. Some do it maliciously to hurt others and benefit themselves while others may not even realize how manipulative they are. It's a sad reality that many people are willing to do or say pretty much anything to get you to do what they want. The question is why. Why do they do this? Do they do it to make themselves feel better because they're insecure themselves, or is it for some reason more complicated than that. The next question is what can be done about it. How can you get out of a manipulative situation or help someone out of one. Is it even possible to mend a relationship that has been tarnished with manipulation?

.Let me start off with a few disclaimers: I'm not an expert on this subject; I'm going off of my own experiences and the experiences of people I know. I am not talking about people who have serious mental disorders and/or are abusive. If you or someone you know is dealing with that, I encourage you to get professional help to ensure everyone's safety and well-being. I am only talking about relationships where one person takes advantage of the other's emotions but not in a way that is meant to endanger that person. This is meant to help people in a mild situation, not an intense one.

The Why

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Firstly, why are people emotionally manipulative? I say 'people' because we all are, to some extent, manipulative. It's natural to want people to do what we want them to do. It's so easy to pull just the right strings; it's human nature. Based on what I've learned, some people tend to manipulate because they are emotionally insecure. They look for validation and love from others, but they go about it the wrong way. Sometimes they even have fears of abandonment. They feel like they have to manipulate others to keep their friends. These people aren't necessarily narcissists, although narcissists use manipulation as well; they just play off of others' emotions to keep their own fears from coming true.

What To Do

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Secondly, what can be done about it? In reality, nothing. You can't control other people's actions. If that friend doesn't want to stop emotionally manipulating you, you can't make them. The best thing for you (or your friend who is in this manipulative relationship) to do is build your own confidence before trying to confront this person. The manipulated is just as insecure as the manipulator, so you have to rise above that to the point where the manipulation won't work on you anymore. It'll still be difficult to be confrontational, but it'll be the best for both of you. If the manipulator is manipulating because he/she is afraid to lose friends, then maybe he/she needs to lose a friend in order to learn something. I'm not saying don't try to fix things or never speak to that person again, but allow them to experience the consequences of their actions. Only then will that person learn how to treat people. They may respond quickly and grow beyond their own insecurities, or they won't; it's up to them.

If your friend is the one who is in this situation, then keep in mind that you can't fix them either. It is their decision to overcome their insecurities and confront their friend. All you can do is provide them with a loving relationship they can rely on during this time of change. Counteract the negative effects of the manipulator with encouragement and love. Be patient, though, because it can take a while.

I encourage you to do your own research on this topic. Again, this is just talking about mild cases, so don't think this will work for everyone. There are scholarly articles out there giving more detail about the subject. I enjoyed looking into the topic, and I hope you will too!