The Uncertainty Avoidance Theory states that humans feel threatened and uncomfortable with the unknown. We want to know everything and at times we freak out so badly with new situations that we return to our comfort zones. This is perhaps the leading reason as to why those who move away from home run back within the first few months. I want to share with you all my experience with this phenomenon and how i overcame it.
The first three weeks that I moved to Long Beach were the worst weeks of my life.
I moved to a new city where my closest relative lives 30 minutes away. I was not working and I did not know a single person. Although, I was enrolled in school I felt so alone especially when I saw everyone in their cliques. CSULB is a commuter school and most of the people who attend this school already know one another from high school. My breaking point happened when I went grocery shopping and saw everyone shopping with friends and family.
Everything seemed to be new, even the fact that grocery bags are not given you purchase them or invest in a tote bag. I sat in my car and started to cry. I called my best friend and said ,"I'm moving back with my parents," I explained to him that I would wait until I got married then reapply and move back into the city with my husband.
So here I was wondering what had happened because I had already been in LA one year for community college, but why did I feel this way? it made no sense.
When I went to Citrus Community College I was part of the Cheer Team, Honors Program- and had many friends. The problem was not that I missed my family because at no point did I say "I miss my mom." I felt that I did not belong and that I was not going to make it.
The fourth week came around and I joined a "study group" that we later referred to as "Comm Fam." They might not know this until now, but they made me feel welcomed and I felt like I belonged. I started to work and I made friends there as well. I was okay and having fun.
If you are new to a city do not be scared.
I was at a point in which I was going to run back to my parents because I did not know what was going on. Feeling sad and lonely is normal, but hang in there. Join groups, clubs and my biggest recommendation is a Salsa Night Club. Salsa Clubs are everywhere and most of the people who go there are there to meet people. If you are thinking, "But I don't know how to dance," even better because people are willing to teach you!
The first few weeks will be the worst so be prepared. We might not know what is ahead, but if you keep going you will see that there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
